By in Parenting

A few tips for those with children.

Raising children is a rewarding and lovely experience, but oh wow can they really push you to your limits.

I believe there is a time for disciplining children, a time for letting little things go and times sometimes when things get too much a good laugh is needed.

Its never easy and there is no such thing as the perfect parent, we just have to do our best.

I have two children aged 10 and 14 and these are some of the tips i used.

Blackmail, or its most commonly called bribery but it all equals to the same thing, there's two ways, give them a treat and then tell them they have to do a chore etc, or you can tell them that unless they do as they are told they wont get a treat, or wont be allowed to watch tv or play on their computers etc, this usually works on both of my children.

Be consistent, kids are constantly looking for ways to break the rules and to push the boundaries and once they find a weakness they may play on that weakness over and over. If you always say no to your 3 year old but then give in after he or she cries and stamps her feet, do you think this will get any better when said child is 13 ? If you have said no to something stick to your guns.

Be careful with how much freedom you give your children. I know they all need time to play etc, but what age is suitable for your child to play outside of the garden or go to town with friends etc, where i live children are often allowed to wonder around the local park and streets away from home from around the age of 5 or 6, i think this is far too young and i think if they are allowed to do this from a young age all the time, then when they are teenagers they aren't really going to listen when you tell them that they cant go out.

Watch your self, if you dont think before you speak or you swear and laugh at others in the street or show little respect to others, your children will probably display these actions in one way or the other, they are like little sponges soaking up information by watching their parents from the moment they are born. They learn from you and will look up to you, so the better behaved you are that will go a long way to how well behaved they are in later teenage years, though obviously they have their own personalities to add to it as well.

Nip lying and stealing in the bud as early as you can, just try to explain to them why it is wrong and that it is bad behaviour, it doesn't matter if its a tiny lie or just 10p they stole, these things often will escalate.

When they get older you could try getting them to switch places and to imagine that it was something they love that had got stolen.

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MegL wrote on July 30, 2014, 8:23 AM

Yes, consistency is very important and i totally agree that 5 or 6 years of age is MUCH too young to go out alone!

astraldreamer wrote on July 30, 2014, 8:29 AM

megl yes it amazes me how parents can let their kids out soo young, very worrying.

cyndycy wrote on July 30, 2014, 8:36 AM

Wow these are great tips, my little boy, one year now is already throwing tantrums, I just don't know how to handle him a times

MegL wrote on July 30, 2014, 8:52 AM

as a granny, I usually lift and cuddle, holding them close and try to distract them by drawing attention to something outside, say a bird or people.

cyndycy wrote on July 30, 2014, 10:02 AM

Thank you, I will try this am sure it will bring a huge difference.I will share with my hubby and nanny as well

astraldreamer wrote on July 30, 2014, 1:39 PM

cyndycy yes its not just terrible twos anymore, they start the mayem early ha ha, i remember my health visitor telling me tht i shouldnt be sitting my 18 month old on the naughty step because she had no idea about whats wrong on right, but she really did, i used to tell her not to pick her nose but i would find her hiding her face behind a book still picking lol. $theresawiza yes im all for consistency, kids run rings round you otherwise, which only gets worse once they are teenagers, and being a good role model is good, noone is gonna be a perfect one, but what a lot of parents seem to forget is that their little mini me's are learning how to be grown ups mainly from them, and it can be a shock to suddenly discover that actually your child has many behaviours that you dont like when they reach the dreded teens.

LisaSteinmetz wrote on July 30, 2014, 3:08 PM

I see that type of behavior in the store where I work. A lot of the time it's the parents talking down to their parents and therefore the grandchildren talk down to their grandparents. Just makes me want to throttle the parent and slap them silly.

LisaSteinmetz wrote on July 30, 2014, 3:09 PM

If I ever spoke to my elders the way these folks were speaking to theirs.. oy vay..

astraldreamer wrote on July 30, 2014, 4:16 PM

lisasteinmetz yes i know what you mean, i wouldnt have dared either but most kids today are like it to them i suppose its normal, dont like the mouthiness and the way my own kids try to answer me back, drives me nuts, i always have to have a reason for whatever it is i have asked them to do, theres no respect any more unless they are in a good mood or i force them to be respectful.