By in Personal

I just can't let her go

I don't know why it is so hard to let go! she was my pillar of strength, the only person who understood me better, she could listen and offer advice without being judgmental. I know am a grown woman now and I should be strong enough to accept reality, but it is so hard. My maternal granny has been my mum since I was eight after my mum passed on, she brought me up well and made me feel complete. She passed on in March this year at the age of 65, her death was too sudden, she just fell from her seat and died, she wasn't sick. I remember the sadness that engulfed me when my aunt broke the news, I still feel horrible and sad. I think of her every single day, I had planned to visit her in April, she had insisted that she wanted to see me and my son (who she never got to see), I didn't know she was not going to make it till April. I had so many plans for her like having her house renovated.

Whenever am faced with a situation I look at her phone number on my phone book and then it dawns on me that she is no more. Whenever I want to share good news with her, I look at her number and picture and my joy turns into tears, wondering why she had to go so soon. I feel terrible when the people around me don't understand, it makes me miss her a lot! Yesterday I had a nasty argument with my husband's mum, and my husband could not stand up for me and make her keep calm,I went to bed with a heavy heart wishing I could talk to my granny, I just can't accept that she is gone. As I write this article my eyes are full of tears, but somehow I feel better I opened up, I hope God will help me get over it and accept that she is gone forever!

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bestwriter wrote on July 24, 2014, 7:05 AM

That is indeed sad news but now you have the opportunity to look within you to find the strengthen which hitherto may have been left untapped. Just a thought.

nitsbubb wrote on July 24, 2014, 7:26 AM

This is really very sad and you are still really attached to your grandmother. I think if you keep yourself happy she will be happy in heaven, so be happy from heart and not from the face. Accept the reality and march ahead.

acelawrites wrote on July 24, 2014, 7:29 AM

It was a great loss, indeed, a loving grandmother for you!But do not worry, she's your angel in heaven who is looking and guiding you!

paigea wrote on July 28, 2014, 7:16 PM

It is just so sad and devastating. I will miss my mom forever. My heart aches for her sometimes particularly this year which has been so hard.
I want to tell her so many things and hear her wise words about so many situations. A short time before she died suddenly, she was talking about her mom. She said sometimes she still thought to herself, "I have to tell mom about that." Her mother had been gone a long time at that time. That's how it was for her and that's how it is for me. Somehow that brings me a bit of comfort knowing that it feels like this for all of us, and we all have to deal with this loss.

LeaPea2417 wrote on December 15, 2015, 1:36 PM

I am very sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace. Hugs to you, my friend. I will keep you in my prayers.