By in Relationships

Marriage is a Form of Mental Imprisonment.

Marriage is the one thing I never want to do with a woman. I have been in love and thought about marrying the woman of my dreams, but when I was asked a few times to marry, I would not say, "Yes, I'll marry you." I have been in serious relationships in which marriage was a topic of discussion, but in the end, I would refuse to marry.

Many of my friends would ask me, "Victor, how come a guy like you never had a wife?" I would always answer that marriage is all in the mind. Why do I say it's all in the mind? Well, when you get marry someone, you make an oath to stay faithful to this person. It is against human nature to be faithful to one person. In reality, being tied to any one person, whether as a boyfriend/girlfriend, a fiance, or a husband/wife is a form of mental bondage, a form of mental imprisonment.

I realize that society is brainwashed into believing that marriage is a bonding of two individuals. This is all nonsense. You are not bound to anyone. You are your own person.

Remember, you are not obligated to no one. Do not let this foolishness called "Marriage" condition you to be enslaved to another individual.


Image Credit » Photo was taken by me, Victor Serrao.

You will need an account to comment - feel free to register or login.

Comments

Platespinner wrote on July 12, 2014, 8:09 PM

I rather enjoy marriage and don't consider it enslavement. It is a mutual commitment to each other and our family and for us it works!

vserrao1 wrote on July 12, 2014, 8:30 PM

But why do you have to be committed? This commitment is all in your mind.

vserrao1 wrote on July 12, 2014, 8:31 PM

It is an institution that really has no biological characteristics.

bestwriter wrote on July 12, 2014, 8:32 PM

Marriage goes far beyond the partners. It is binding more for the children that follow.

Ravenmount wrote on July 12, 2014, 9:04 PM

There are other models for marriage besides the traditional one. I have yet to date anyone mature enough to handle a relationship, let alone marriage, but if I found such a man, I'd not want to think he was with me because he made an oath and is bound to keep it, or anything like that. I'd want to know he was with me because he wanted to be, and that every day he remained my husband it would be because he continued to prefer being with me rather than going off on his own or with someone else. There is something nice about being with someone you know really well, and who knows you really well, and for that sort of relationship, you really need years together, but it has to be the right person, or it feels fake and uncomfortable after a while.

paigea wrote on July 12, 2014, 9:08 PM

My marriage is a commitment and a partnership that makes life easier and frees me up to have more leisure time. We work as a team and support each other's pursuits. Neither of us are enslaved.

gidget wrote on July 12, 2014, 11:11 PM

I don't mean to sound sexist, but I agree that for women it is mental imprisonment.

MaeLou wrote on July 12, 2014, 11:13 PM

It's sad you feel this way. My husband is my very best friend, I couldn't live without him in my life in one way or another. Your view on "bonding" is a little skewed. I'm going to assume you have no children, so therefore, you cannot know how one CAN form a bond with someone. We are not faithful to one another because we feel we have to be, we are faithful to each other because we WANT to be.

vserrao1 wrote on July 13, 2014, 12:12 AM

You may not think that neither of you are enslaved, but why must you be married to support each other?

vserrao1 wrote on July 13, 2014, 12:16 AM

It should not matter whether one has children or not. Even if you have children, you don't have to be married. Children are just a byproduct of physical intimacy. Why would you want to be faithful to another individual when it is against human nature to be. I would not want anyone dictating to me how I should live my life.

vserrao1 wrote on July 13, 2014, 12:34 AM

Is there really a "right person" or a "comfortable relationship?"

vserrao1 wrote on July 13, 2014, 12:40 AM

Women are too faithful in marriage. A woman has to free herself from a husband. A woman does not need a husband. This idea of being married is programmed into women's minds.

gidget wrote on July 13, 2014, 9:35 AM

I keep telling my sisters that I don't need one. Had one once, and marriage did not agree with me. I am glad that my daughter, and other girls in this generation do not need to feel the pressure in getting married.

LoudMan wrote on July 13, 2014, 10:10 AM

A partnership is a good thing but not when either party feels it's good to obey the dogma written by men in dresses from thousands of years ago.

vserrao1 wrote on July 13, 2014, 10:24 AM

The children of this generation are more independent as compared to past generations.

vserrao1 wrote on July 13, 2014, 10:26 AM

I feel the same way. It is a turn off for me when a woman feels that we have to be married because we have been in a relationship for several years.

MaeLou wrote on July 13, 2014, 12:18 PM

My point of having children was the "bonding" not whether you should be married to have children. You state that 2 people being "bonded" is just all in your head. I have kids, so therefore, I KNOW I have a bond with my kids and them with me. It's not "all in the head."

It may be against YOUR human nature to be faithful, but I don't have any desire to even be with anyone else. MY nature is different than yours. My husband doesn't tell me how to dictate my life.. no one does. I'm VERY independent and my husband will tell you so. In fact, if someone were to tell me NOT to do something, I would likely go and do it just to spite them. No one will tell me what I can and cannot do.

paigea wrote on July 13, 2014, 12:33 PM

We don't need to be married. We just want to. I was single for a long time. I raised my children alone. So did my husband. He doesn't need me, he did just fine on his own. I am married because I want to be. Just like I don't go skiing because I need to; I do it because I want to. My husband and I are together because we want to be.

Ruby3881 wrote on July 14, 2014, 4:30 PM

Victor, I think you have missed the important difference between HAVING to be married and CHOOSING to be married. Many people are unaware of the different kinship models that exist around the world. Many people are ignorant to the options of polyamoury and polyfidelity. Those who have never explored these possibilities may well be accepting marriage because they don't know they don't have any other choice besides remaining single and feeling incomplete.

I have a FB friend who lives a very satisfying polyamorous life. And yet she has chosen to marry her primary partner. Does this mean she'll have no other partners from then on? Absolutely not! She and her husband will enjoy an open marriage. So why marry? Whether it is because that rite of passage has a special meaning to them and their family, or because they have chosen to celebrate their relationship among loved ones, or perhaps they will benefit from certain legal rights as a married couple, it is a choice and not some sort of default they are blindly accepting.

To recognize there is more than just the Western model of one man and one woman bound to each other is but the first step in a longer journey. To stop there and assume all marriages are the result of brainwashing and are a form of bondage is just as short-sighted as settling for an unwanted marriage simply because it conforms to society's expectations.

poddys wrote on July 14, 2014, 4:49 PM

Ah yes marriage can be that. I have been married 3 times, and for me in most ways it's 3rd time lucky. The first time I was too young and naive, the second turned out to be a control freak, and at times my life wasn't my own. Marriage can be wonderful when your partner is your soul-mate and you have lots in common. You also have to care enough about each other to share the workload (shopping, cooking, cleaning etc) and to do things for love. That makes married life well worth it. But finding the right partner, that is very often down to luck.

BarbRad wrote on August 7, 2014, 2:14 AM

I totally disagree. I find freedom in my marriage commitment and it also helps me grow spiritually to share life with someone I'm committed to. It takes a long time to build a bond with another person, and many people never stay together long enough to form that bond and never experience it. I have now been married over fifth years, and these last few have been better than the first view when we were making the hardest adjustments. It's easy to be selfish and live only for one's self, doing as one pleases. But that isn't what helps build character.

Jadecat777 wrote on October 23, 2014, 8:11 AM

That is so true and the one thing that people don't realize; as soon as they get married everything change for them.