By in Relationships

Where Did I Go 9 Months Ago?

Where Did I Go 9 Months Ago?

AdrienneJenkins just made me cry a little. I’m not mad at her for that. I’m just sharing a truth. She commented on my last post...

Read that here - mostly because it’s important for the PP community!

...that I was BAAAAAAAACK! With a couple other lovely things attached. She made me all teary eyed with it.

I love that girl - . If you aren’t stalking...errr...following her, you should. She is one of the good ones. But you probably know that already - you are quite welcome, if you didn’t.

So what did she MEAN by what she said, anyway?

I’m back.

Well, I’ll try to be short ‘n’ sweet in the telling.

In October 2013 I got sick. A silly little sinus infection coupled with a headache. No big deal, right?

Fast forward to June 2014 and I am still sick. Still with sinus issues AND that headache, which has never, in 9 MONTHS gone away.

Yes, I have been walking around with different levels of pain in my head for almost a year now. Most of the time it’s between 4-7 pain wise and I can deal - most days.

The doctors are stumped; I’ve been tested for EVERYTHING (mostly); the “bigs” have been ruled out - thank goodness; they are still practicing on me; I’ve not yet been diagnosed; but we are close.

Sorta.

I’m not going into too many details there because to talk about it brings up a LOT of crud and I just don’t want to do that here, now, yet, whatever.

It’s been a LONG road, at any speed. Some days are better than others, some days I’m flat on my back (or in the fetal position), and others I manage to make it through pretty darn good.

At this point we manage this thing, my condition. Whatever it is. It’s not just a headache anymore, either; but again - I’m not ready to talk about that here. Soon maybe, just not now.

So Adrienne, sweet Adrienne...she got all excited because she noticed something that I wasn’t sure I could believe myself...

I might just BE BACK.

You see, back in October, when the headache came - confusion, cognitive issues, and memory loss came with it. Causing me to lose one very important ability...

...to write the way I think. To flow write. To let the words escape my brain through my fingers and onto the page.

I’m tearing up again and I am sorry if that sounds cheesy. Losing that was HUGE.

Imagine waking up one morning and not being able to tie your shoes. Or turn over? Or even know who your husband and child were?

Yes, there were days and days and even weeks of that, too.

Anyway, over the last few weeks, since joining Persona Paper, I’ve begun to consider that even though my head is still not right and I’m still in pain 24/7, I might be able to write again.

Like I used to.

I haven’t put any pressure on myself to do it. I simply can’t, these days (an ugly side effect of all this, too). But I am beginning to feel like a writer again. Naturally. My voice is a little rusty. I’m still wicked long-winded - no apologies ;) . I have to edit a bit more, take a breather more often...

So yah. A little insight into where I’ve been all these long 9 months. This snippet in no way tells even an eighth of the story but I wanted to share here, today with you, because...well... made me do it. :) Thank you, my friend.

That’s another thing about being part of a great community of writers. We care for one another. We pay attention (even when it seems we don't), and we remember - well and good.

And though she may not even realize she did ALL that with what she said, YOU should know - dear readers - words matter greatly, always.

I am hopeful that what she said is true - I am back. Fingers crossed. No pressure. Carrying on... yay ...

Cheers!

~~~~~~~~

For HTML help with coloring your words here at Persona Paper - Ask Adrienne!

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Image Credit: Selfie 2014 © All Rights Reserved
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Please Note: Anytime I offer any tips or tricks pertaining to PP, or anything else for that matter, know that all of it is just what I’ve observed as I traipse

along this life. If you have a hankering to dispute, disagree, or otherwise share your better advice, PLEASE do. I’m here to learn, same as you :)

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Image Credit » SandraLynn Selfie 2014 All Rights Reserved

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Comments

MaeLou wrote on June 25, 2014, 9:42 AM

I'm sorry to hear all you've gone through. I had debilitating migraines for months so I'm sure I have an inkling of what you've gone through. I hope they figure something out for you.

SandraLynn wrote on June 25, 2014, 10:06 AM

Thank you MaeLou - ever hopeful and keeping my chin up. You probably know better than many. It's no fun! :( But I'm upright today and that's a good thing, we'll not let anything else worry us in this moment :)

BigDreamer wrote on June 25, 2014, 10:43 AM

Now I am getting all teary eyed!

LadyDuck wrote on June 25, 2014, 11:37 AM

I am so sorry to hear you had serious health problem. What you describes is so familiar. From a couple of months my husband has the same problem. Headaches, confusion, memory loss, even balance loss while he walks. I am very concerned and scared, the doctors cannot find the reason of the problem. You give me hope, thanks for sharing your history :)

SandraLynn wrote on June 25, 2014, 12:15 PM

I will probably share more as we all get better acquainted LadyDuck - they are still not sure what I have but I did test positive for Fibro. Not ready to have that be it, however; it doesn't explain away the headaches. Balance has also been an issue, as well as talking, forming sentences, remembering common things that I should know... It's been a crazy ride. If they can ever figure it out I'll be sharing more, no worries.

Good luck to your hubby too :( Remember that resting and conserving energy will help to manage his condition! :)

AdrienneJenkins wrote on June 26, 2014, 8:49 AM

Thanks for sharing your story. I think there will be days and times when you will use a short form format like your Google Ad Sense format. There will be other days when your voice is long form and the thoughts flow freely.

What I appreciate is that I never feel like your posts are winded. All the words seem necessary and they flow. Your writing style is unique and it's great to be let into your world. I'm glad this platform could kickstart that for ya.

And I agree. Having each other to lean on is tremendous support. And again, it's great to have you back and I totally get it when there's days when you're writing short. Now I understand. And it's amazing with what you're gong through to read what you've managed to get out on the page. So yay, big whoop whoops. Good having you baaaaaaaack big time.

AdrienneJenkins wrote on June 26, 2014, 8:52 AM

You are fortunate you have supportive people around you. And I do encourage you to write about your condition, questions and frustrations about it because there are others who might be suffering from the same ailments. Plus you never know what others may have to share with you that might provide clues. May as well get those thoughts down while they are fresh. It's not boring or whiny but actually very interesting and gives us greater insight and appreciation for what you're struggling with day to day.

ohcaroline wrote on July 3, 2014, 10:26 AM

I knew you were having health issues. So sorry you have had to endure these things. I'm glad to see you here. You are a delightful person to know. You are gonna make it!!! :)

inertia4 wrote on July 3, 2014, 4:22 PM

SandraLynn I am rap sorry to hear about your headache pain. You are a trooper though. I could never be able to go forward if I had continuous pain everyday. I hope they find a cause and then a cure.

LoudMan wrote on July 5, 2014, 10:08 AM

I had no idea, really. It sounds like a horrid condition. But, fortunately, medical science has become pretty amazing these days.

SandraLynn wrote on July 5, 2014, 4:28 PM

Tis okay, LoudMan - I haven't talked about it a whole lot and we're only just managing right now. We do okay :) Some days are better than others! Truth :)

SandraLynn wrote on July 5, 2014, 4:31 PM

Thank you, my dear :) I'm afraid I'm just seeing this now. Yikes. I'm feeling better today, YAY :) Hope you had a good weekend, ohcaroline ! Glad to see you here, too :)

Ellis wrote on July 14, 2014, 7:51 PM

I hope you get well soon Sandra...I had sinusitis and it is very painful. The cause was warm air heating in the office that I worked. I found long hot steamy showers helped ease the problem...oh, and packing in my job...lol