By in Personal

Homelessness, A Personal Story

A while back a family member commented that home is the place where, when you show up they have to let you in. If that's true, I've been homeless for a very long time. Honestly, though there are plenty of people who will take me in, no one HAS to do so. For some, in fact, it would endanger their home's status, like a relative who lives in public housing.

While I've been waiting for my Social Security Disability I've stayed with several relatives - mainly my children and my oldest niece. They all make it clear that I'm welcome, with some noteable exceptions, but it never "feels" totally like home. Home is where I can be completely myself, without dissembling to avoid being told to leave. When I lived with my middle child he routinely told me to "move out by tonight" if I didn't adhere to his, often arbitrary, rules. Although he always took it back, his words and actions made it clear it wasn't really my home.

Even before, when I was working and paying rent, I often felt homeless. Renting a room from a friend is perilous, at best. Worst, however, was when I had a roommate who objected to the fact that she, also, had to work because I couldn't afford to pay everything by myself. To top it all off, everything in the house (including my room) had to be perfect to her standards and I wasn't allowed to keep any personal belongings in our shared area because they made the place look "messy."

Did I mention that she's an EX friend?

The point of all this is that "home" isn't just a place to eat and sleep, but a place to feel secure, accepted, and in some control.

Cross-posted to

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Anja wrote on June 16, 2014, 1:27 PM

It's not easy to stay with other people, even relatives. Everyone has their own ways and habits and people just need their own space. I hope you get your own space soon.

momluvz2knit wrote on June 16, 2014, 6:48 PM

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things work out for you or someone chills out. How awful. I don't think I would have any place to stay where the "Home owner" wouldn't have their rules I must abide by.

GrannyGee wrote on July 9, 2014, 7:08 AM

I read your words with understanding, caring. I could feel inside what your words conveyed. I came here to read... your friend mentioned you. I was curious. I'm so glad I came; now... I'm following you. It's so nice to meet you. /#GrannyGee

paigea wrote on July 17, 2014, 2:48 PM

I hope you have that now, a place where you can relax and be at home.