GUEST POST - How To Keep A Healthy Family Relationship
This is a guest post from Mike at familylifeshare.com
Family is the basic unit of society. It is the only relationship that we need to nurture and maintain from the moment we open our eyes after birth until the last breath of our life. Generally, it is the most important bond that we need to take care of. A family is also a place for new lives to cultivate and raise. Love and fondness should be seen in families especially between a husband and wife. Every decision that one makes will, directly or indirectly, affect the lives of the other members of the family.
We are not just referring to time here but quality time. Parents can spend a lot of time together with their sons and daughters and yet, the children are still longing for more time from their parents. It is because most parents nowadays are just giving time to their kids but not the quality level of time. What do we mean by this? According to this article posted on the Washington Post , large-scale research was done to monitor and study the time given by parents to their kids and the results of the process. It is said that children demand quality time rather than quantity. This means that parents can be spending hours with their kids and still not giving sufficient time that they need.
Time is mostly associated with the attention that we give. You can say that you are “spending time” with your children while you are doing your work, your household chores, or even while watching television. But this is not what kids require from their parents to keep the relationship healthy. Parents have to give their undivided attention to their kids, watch them respond to what they are saying, and hear what they have to say about specific situations. Parents have to make assessments on the whole journey of the childhood of their kids. By knowing the strengths and weaknesses of the kids, you can then make adjustments on how you deal with them and how you adapt to certain behaviors.
Practical Tips - Family
- When a child wants to talk to you, you should stop what you are doing, look at the eyes of your kid and ask him or her what they want.
- When your kid is playing sports, get time off from work and attend the games. It is important for them to see you see them play.
- After watching a movie at home, talk to them about what they thought about what they just saw. It is important for them that you give high regard to their opinions.
- When your wife or husband wants a date, you need to turn your phone to silent to give undivided attention to him or her. You respect the time that he or she gave for the both of you to spend some quality time together.
- As much as possible, do family activities like vacations together. It is important for your spouse and your kids to see all the members giving importance to the bond that you can make through these activities.
People can sometimes, consciously or unconsciously, hold back with positive and kind words for their spouse or their kids. They are either shy or are the type who just do not show their emotions through verbal or nonverbal communication. If we really want to keep the relationship of the family healthy, you must exert all efforts and give as much praise and appreciation to each member of the family whenever you can.
The world is cynical enough to criticize everything that they see on social media. You do not have to add to these kinds of people. Your family needs your support no matter what. They should hear words that can motivate and push them to be better. Even in times of failure, you should know the kind of communication that you should be doing for your family. Sometimes, it does not have to be verbal at all. A simple cuddle or hug says a lot about what you are feeling. Your compassion and love can be shown with actions like a pat on the back or a shoulder rub. Be sensitive to the needs of the members of the family in terms of the positive effects that you should be communicating to your spouse and the kids.
Practical tips - Encouragement And Praise
- Give praise to your kids when they are doing a good job at school.
- Say thanks to your spouse for a great meal.
- Hug your child after they have just had a breakup.
- Give words of encouragement when your kid is not accepted on a team, a school, or a group that they want to be in.
Never Make Assumptions
Parents can sometimes think of themselves as someone who knows it all. This kind of mindset can lead to not listening to what your kids have to say. We may assume that what a child has done is wrong even if, in actuality, he or she was doing the right thing after all. You may give punishment or disciplining even if you did not hear his or her side. Doing this over and over again in a parent-child setup can damage the health of the relationship. As parents, never make conclusions hastily. Open your ears to your children. Listen to what they have to say. After knowing all the sides of the argument or situation, you can then make a decision. Giving an unbiased judgement can strengthen your family’s bond.
This is also the same for your spouse. Husbands and wives should always hear each other out before arriving at a conclusion. A family relationship can only be kept healthy if the thoughts are communicated through words. Not being heard with what you have to say is like restricting someone of the freedom that you need in your family.
Practical tips - Listen
- When your toddler breaks a plate or a vase, listen first to them give an explanation of what happened before giving an appropriate disciplining response.
- Never ground your kids immediately after a wrong action.
- Let your spouse explain himself or herself first before speaking out in times of arguments.
The family relationship should not just be taken as a responsibility that should take the topmost priority in our lives. It should be a normal task that we intentionally do and care for every single day of our lives. Through our deliberate activities and personal undertakings, we can make sure that all the members of the family are receiving an ample amount of love and health-check that they need to keep the relationship strong and intact.
Mike Zhang. Founder of FamilyLifeShare . We have been here waiting for you for a long time. Thanks a million for visiting. Family life Share aims to share cool knowledge and unique experience about family life, marriage, love, relationships, Parenting and life tips. We want to provide high-quality content to people who are looking for these topics.
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