By in Persona Paper

Where Did That Motivation Go?

I was going to save this for tomorrow or this week, but eh, I'll post it now. It's a bit of venting I wanna do, and I don't wanna post it elsewhere.

So I was reading through old posts on here, I guess as one may do when they haven't been around in a few years. The posts about my freelance writing has caught my eye. Where did that motivation go?

I remember the days of working for a steady client on Zerys. I was sent work every week from 2012 to 2015, when the agency that provided the work shut down.

Now, I've found other clients to work for since then, mainly on Textbroker. It's a mixture of open orders and writing teams. Some post weekly, others only monthly. I love how it's provided a variety, from restaurant and website descriptions to the home/apartment topics I'm used to.

I'm not saying I'm never motivated to work either. I love what I do, but I've had more unmotivated days than I care to admit. Maybe it's my sleep schedule, or maybe I need to isolate myself more when working. Maybe I just miss my old client and the work they provided. I enjoy the clients and my orders, and there are certain clients who put a smile on my face when they show up. I also like knowing I am not relying on just one client, as that was a big mistake for those three years. But there's always that time of checking the board and hoping they've added work on time.

There is something missing that I can't quite put my finger on. A certain motivation that came when I'd receive those direct orders from that client, or find 200 jobs on the board. I want THAT MOTIVATION back. I want to be the writer I was when I'd work on a bunch of orders in one day, and still finish at a decent time, and would be ready to go the next day. I want to be that person who could meet her weekly quota a day earlier (which would actually work for Textbroker, as that'd be cash-out night). There are days where I'm more motivated than others and ready to zoom through everything, and some days it's a struggle and I find myself procrastinating or finishing late. I know that can happen with any job, but still, I want that motivation back.

I don't want it to seem like I don't like freelance writing, or working from home, anymore, because of course I still enjoy it. That's WHY I want that old motivation back. But I just feel like something needs to change to get myself back to where I once was in terms of motivation. Maybe I need to sit down and think about what really motivated me (topics, money, etc.) those three years. I used to babysit while writing, so I had a routine going, certain things were done by certain times of the day. Maybe I need to get myself back on a routine, as it's easy to fall out of that when you're only writing and not babysitting. Maybe I need to change my "expertise" categories on Zerys too, in hopes of more clients finding me (if there are even any left, as a part of me wonders if Zerys is hanging on by a thread). I've been active on Fiverr for several months. I have a weekly client, maybe I should talk to them about increasing the workload per week. I also want to have my fourth gig posted before 2019.

I'm not entirely sure where to begin, but I need to think about my life as a freelance writer then and now, and see what I can do to get that old motivation back. Lately, I don't always feel like I'm living up to the worker I once was, but it's up to me to change it.

Anyways, I'm not sure what else to say without repeating myself. I just wanted to get that off my chest, and I feel more comfortable putting it here than anywhere else. If you read it, then thank you for listening. Have a good night/morning, and take care.

Image Credit » I made this graphic using PhotoImpact 6.

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MegL wrote on September 16, 2018, 8:16 AM

That's an interesting post. When you had what you called "the motivation", you had a structure provided by someone else? You knew you had regular work coming in and you knew there would be other work on a board that you had to do in a certain timescale? Add that together with childminding and it may be that you only had certain chunks of time available (kids are unpredictable) and you had to get something done in the 15 minutes or so available before you might next be needed? That's a kind of work structure where every minute has to be used in order to get anything done. When you have more time available, there's a tendency to say "I have plenty of time" and to not get started (student syndrome). One thing I found useful for getting stuff done where everything was "all over the place" was to draw up a weekly timetable of things that had to be done, like sleep or any meetings or appointments. Then I could see where I had time available to fit something in.

VinceSummers wrote on September 16, 2018, 12:13 PM

It sounds like you're one of those who works best under pressure, as long as there is an appreciative client at the other end. I prefer no pressure, but that I place upon myself. And I like writing for myself. Hence However, I also write for Decoded Science, and use this site for personal opinions and observations, plus introducing my work at other sites.

Kasman wrote on September 16, 2018, 6:22 PM

I used to be highly motivated to write online but not so much these days. I spend a lot of my time taking photos and placing on useful sites.

lookatdesktop wrote on September 16, 2018, 7:38 PM

I think I need to write something new. I haven't thought of something really that new to write about. I have been so involved in abrupt climate change and the possible demise of civilization as we know it, that I have not been as motivated as I should be to come up with something refreshingly different to write about, other than the same-o thing, 24/7 - 365.

ViperGirl85 wrote on September 22, 2018, 12:25 AM

I think I was more on a routine. I had the little guy during the day, and I started writing as soon as he was picked up, and during his naps. As he got older, I was able to start writing earlier in the day (as I worked in the living room and he played right in front of me). Yep, the work had deadlines, usually a few days later so I had time to work on them. I think I used to get 20 orders a week, and I may have increased it eventually but I can't remember now.

I think a good chunk of it was knowing I had the regular work coming in, not having to keep refreshing the boards to see what was there. When I lost that client, I felt like I had taken a step backwards. I MAY be able to get a little of that back on Fiverr though.

I have a daily to-do list, but as you said, maybe I need to do it as a timetable, as the "student syndrome" may be an issue with me. This upcoming week may be a little off for personal reasons, but it's something to think about for starting the mid-week, or a week from Monday. It may even force me back on a regular sleep schedule. Thank you for the suggestion, but I may need to come up with times and get myself back on some sort of a routine. Thanks again! :)

ViperGirl85 wrote on September 22, 2018, 12:32 AM

I think that could be it. That client was always so appreciative. I have a client that appreciative on Fiverr, and it feels good to know they're so happy with my work.

I also think it's a mixture of it, in regards to pressure. Like deadlines help me to get things done, especially when I enjoy the work/client. However, I used to try to hit certain goals between Monday and Friday, and it was working for me. But with Textbroker paying on Thursdays, I decided to try to hit my goals on Thursdays, which causes me to work at least two weekends a month, as well as increase my daily goals Monday through Thursday (or Mon. through Wed.), so I put more pressure on myself to get things done, which also causes me to stay up later, and it starts a cycle of a bad sleep schedule and beating myself up when I don't do as well. I'm starting to think I need to go back to the Monday through Friday thing for a while (but I'd work on weekends if one of my favorite clients drop by. I only work on weekends via Textbroker, not Fiverr), and then using timetables as MegL has suggested, and maybe let things in regards to my motivation and schedule work it's way back up. Thanks for the comment, and I'm sorry for the novel lol.

I'm glad you have things you enjoy writing! I hope you don't put too much pressure on yourself.

ViperGirl85 wrote on September 22, 2018, 12:33 AM

I still do freelance writing as a job, and I usually enjoy it, but one of my biggest doors closed a few years ago. Others have opened since then, but I realized I was so motivated and more hardworking back then, and I wanna find that writer in me again. I hope you enjoy your photography! :)

ViperGirl85 wrote on September 22, 2018, 12:34 AM

Ah. I'm referring to my freelance writing orders from clients.

If you mean on here/MyLot, write about what you want. You don't want to force yourself to write about other topics if you're heart isn't into it. And if you ever do want to explore, you could always look into writing prompts.