I'm So Glad I'm Not a [Blank]
I don't know how often I've thought to myself, "I'm glad I'm not a [Blank]." Fill in the blank. I use a blank, because there are a number of things I'm glad I'm not!
Once in my travails, I came across a free-range chicken farm that truly is free range. No boundaries. The chickens roam. They tend to remain roughly where they feed, but occasionally, one strays. I was driving down the road when I saw one or two on the other side of the street from the farm. I kept saying, in an audible voice, "Run for it, Guy. Run for it. This is your chance..." I'm glad I'm not a chicken. I hate fowl play!
I'm glad I'm not a turkey. Have you ever gotten behind one of those turkey trucks with all the little cages, each one with a scrunched-up turkey in it, heading to the slaughter house? It's a grotesque site. A hateful sight. Anyway, one day, an acquaintance spotted on the side of the road, a pile of white feathers where one of those trucks went off the road. Surprisingly, after cleaning up the wreck, a live and completely uninjured bird was in that pile. The man picked it up and took it home.
He sawed and hammered and built a lovely pen for the little guy. He was a man of tender feelings. Well he nurtured his new-found pet. Then one morning, just a few days later, he noticed the pen had been broken into. A wild animal got the turkey, leaving remnants to haunt the poor fellow who'd taken the turkey out of the frying pan and placed him in the fire.
Lastly, I'm glad I'm not an anaerobic bacterium. Why? Those are the little guys so un-countably numerous located in the dark depths of your septic system. Could there be any existence worse than that?
Image Credit » Pixabay https://pixabay.com/en/hahn-rooster-head-crow-poultry-eye-3607868/