By in Relationships

Dealing With Real Fears

What Might We Be Really Afraid of?

I am not talking about snakes or spiders. Sometimes things we are afraid of are things that could really happen, either to ourselves or to someone we know. And these are some of the fears that are hardest to deal with. What sort of fears can these be? Here are three and no, they do not include the fear of flying or of public speaking!

Fear Of Being Lonely

Many of us really fear being alone. For some people, being alone is a safety valve away from life's hustle but for others, it's a real worry. It's one of the reasons that older folk talk about the television as being "company". Being alone, with no one else to keep us occupied can be a time for deep reflection or it can be a time when you get into your own head and start thinking dark, uncomfortable thoughts, or regretting what has happened in the past. One solution to this is to find more ways to be sociable. Find people to be with, join a club, find people who enjoy the same things you do.

Fear of losing your job

This could mean unemployment, poverty and in the most extreme of cases, homelessness and hopelessness. To safe guard yourself here, work diligently, make yourself indispensable and as a back-up plan, work on a business plan that, should everything go south, you can be self-employed. You may even want to work on being self-employed anyway, as a part-time strategy for obtaining additional income. Remember, the other part of avoiding poverty, is to not spend all your money from each pay cheque. No matter how small your pay packet, try and save a little out of it every week or month, so that if unemployment arrives, you have a little put away to tide you over.

Fear of being ridiculed

No one likes to be ridiculed. These days it is rightly termed bullying and many places have tried hard to ensure no employee or pupil is bullied at work or at school but it can still happen. Try your best not to put yourself in such a situation, but should it happen, brush it off with a light touch and forget about it. Obsessing over it will create animosity and hostility within you. Many bullies see their comments as being "banter" and do not understand why anyone should be upset with them. If you or your child are suffering bullying, speak up to your employer or to the school. You can also help yourself or your child by improving self confidence. Exercise, fitness and self defence classes can be some good ways of improving self-confidence. One parent created a fitness club for his daughter in which she became super fit and was no longer bullied. That could have been because she was able to take care of herself and it could also have been because she became confident of her own abilities and n longer worth targeting!

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lookatdesktop wrote on May 25, 2016, 4:23 PM

I was once invited to join a chess club that met every Thursday night at the local Parks and Recreation Center. The name of the club I joined was called Royal Crown Chess Academy. The object of the club was to get new chess players, beginners, to join and learn and become not only good chess players but to learn a bit about the Holy Bible, because the man who owned the club, who founded and organized it's activities was first and foremost an ordained Minister. I was lucky to be in this type of group because there was a lot of positive energy there and people enjoyed the games and the friendships that were fostered by this club.

MegL wrote on May 25, 2016, 5:57 PM

I prefer any clubs I join to be about the one area I join them for but most of the activities I have been involved in over the years were NOT social. Exercise classes, for instance are not social gatherings in my experience.

Bethany1202 wrote on May 25, 2016, 8:24 PM

We all have our fears and these are very real for many. I like the down to earth solutions offered for each situation, too.

BarbRad wrote on May 26, 2016, 1:35 AM

I guess one thing I fear is surviving my husband and having to deal with everything alone that the two of us haven't taken care of yet and feel a bit intimidated by. At least he got started on setting up a trust today.

MegL wrote on May 26, 2016, 4:04 AM

Yes, that's a worry for me too.