By in Personal


"Silence can be an effective tool when confronted with criticism."--Svein Jentoft

Before, when anger seethes and I am ready to explode, my beloved elephant goes wild and starts thumping its feet. But to no avail, my elephant will always fail to stop me. I was always more quick. I counter attack and explode in words, action and other bodily displays. At work, the result was opportunities being lost and given to other staff; and at home it will mean days and even weeks with no one wanting to speak with me.

I will always know that I had gone overboard, when I feel an instantaneous seething pain in my back, straight like a lightning, striking from my neck going downwards. I would also had bouts of guilt on nights on end, re-living and re-playing what transpired, giving out excuses and explanations to justify that I was right. This I do over and over...

Believe me when I say that reacting that way is very draining. It's very painful to say the least; physically it's very unhealthy; but it is even more emotionally distressful.

I have been learning to control my reactions for years now. And I observe that when I lapse into this mode, the bouts are becoming less painful.

But I am still a work in progress.

My elephant? He has been helping tremendously and actually "recruited" his friends for support, just like what I have written in this post: Kick-Them-Out

Image Credit » by DzidekLasek

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frankie2015 wrote on January 25, 2016, 11:12 AM

Sven is absolutely right. The idiom `Silence is golden`is also extremely positive when it comes to me. Whenever my ex husband goes on a word rampage against me and my faults and actions I lapse into silence and just let him talk and rave and go mad with himself alone because I do not answer. At least very rarely answer.

WordChazer wrote on January 25, 2016, 3:39 PM

I was very grateful to my colleague this morning, as I was about to have a real mad moment at another colleague by email. She walked in and started telling me about what was going on upstairs, so I didn't hit send on the email. By the time I had finished talking to her, I had forgotten what I wanted to tell our other colleague so I completely revised the email before sending. Polar bears to the rescue, maybe? I now have a meeting scheduled sometime in the next couple of weeks to meet my colleague and her boss for the first time to discuss the situation I find myself in thanks to the lack of oversight before I joined the organisation. *Result, surely*?

vanGogh wrote on January 25, 2016, 6:48 PM

The polar bears?, You bet. It has been a win some lose some for me. But I guess you vet more wins over time. Good luck on your meeting! Thaks

vanGogh wrote on January 25, 2016, 6:51 PM

it's the good cop bad cop for us; taking turns; when one is mad the other clams up and let the other vent