Dr. Chapman's Classic: THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
It is true that falling in love and entering into a relationship are easy. The hard part is to maintain and nurture it. The proofs are those failed relationships, cases of falling out of love, etc. Though many reasons can be attributed to such results, I guess it all boils down to one basic reason. People fail to give importance to the so-called love languages.
Everyone has our own way to show love and receive love. Those ways are the love languages. In the book, only five are written and I believe they have covered everything well.
1. Words of Affirmation
-You feel special or loved when people give you compliments, talk nice and sweet things about you, etc. Words of affirmation boost your mood.
2. Acts of Service
-You feel the love of a person when he or she does something for you, a favor maybe or even very small act of kindness that you don't expect.
3. Receiving Gifts
-You value receiving gifts (material) even very small but with thought and effort.
4. Quality Time
-You want undivided attention more than just time alone. You feel loved this way.
5. Physical Touch
-You feel a person's love for you when he/she hugs you, kisses you, or holds your hand. Yes, sex is included, but irrational lust is not.
According to Dr. Chapman, although we may speak various love languages, we have our one primary language where we feel most loved when people use it to us in communicating their love. If people around us start using the right love language in dealing with us chances are there will be no cases of falling out of love.
Most of us make a mistake in using the language we feel most loved to our partners thinking that they'll feel so much loved too. But, in reality, in most cases, it's not going to work because he/she has his/her own love language. For example, you bombard your girlfriend with so many gifts everyday but you fail to notice her appearance, her work, and that's what she needs. Then, most likely she'll feel short of your love no matter how many or even expensive your gifts are. Figuring out what's your partner's love language is necessary.
However, the process can be hard and crucial too. Talking it over is not that easy though it's the best thing to do. Not every couple feels fine talking things like this. Observing your partner's response to your acts of love is the next best thing.
Image used is mine.
Previously posted in DailyTwoCents.com (by me as forevergrey)