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Writing Exercise #3: Describing a Character's Emotions - Love

Writing Exercise

It was late afternoon on a hot summer day. Jim sat alone at his writer’s desk. a cracked white ceramic bowl full of tortilla chips and a bottle of cold Heineken beer rested within grabbing distance. His Lenovo all-in-one computer was powered up; a Billy Joel CD in the DVD-ROM drive played “She’s Always a Woman” and the Photos app was open.

Jim moved the blinking cursor with his mouse and clicked on the icon marked “Lauren Pics.” He smiled to himself as the Windows 8 desktop theme vanished from his monitor and a photo of Lauren took its place. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he gazed raptly at the picture.

Jim smiled at Lauren’s image on his glowing monitor. It wasn’t a particularly sexy or extraordinarily elegant photograph. Far from it. Jim had taken it with his smartphone camera a couple of weeks earlier while Lauren was working on her garden. She was wearing what she called her landscaper’s outfit: a pair of faded old Levis, a button-down white-and-blue plaid blouse with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, dirt-covered sneakers, green and yellow gardening gloves covered with grass stains, Ray Ban sunglasses, and a beige cotton gardening hat with a wind lanyard. Her skin was bronzed by long hours of pulling dandelions and other weeds from her flower beds. She looked tired, sweaty, and grimy, but a silly grin lit up her face. No, clearly not a Playboy-style pinup, Jim mused, but she still makes me melt.

Jim’s knees felt weak as he gazed at Lauren’s smiling face, and he was glad that he didn’t have to stand up at that moment. There had been several instances, he recalled with a mix of wonder and embarrassment, when his legs had lost their ability to support his weight in Lauren’s presence and he’d sprawled on the floor butt-first. He smiled again at the memory of the first time he’d fallen because the sight of the woman he loved had literally bowled him over.

Jim reached out with his right index finger to touch Lauren’s smiling image. “I love you, babe,” he whispered huskily. “More than you will ever know.”

Image Credit » by Olessya

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CoralLevang wrote on December 16, 2015, 5:40 PM

This made me cry. I have longed my whole life for a love like this.

alexdg1 wrote on December 16, 2015, 5:42 PM

You liked this, CoralLevang ?

CoralLevang wrote on December 16, 2015, 5:45 PM

Yes, I did. It touched an emotion. Therefore, it worked for me.

alexdg1 wrote on December 16, 2015, 5:49 PM

Aw. Thanks. Maybe I am cut out for this fiction-writing gig after all. I see a typo, and I've already edited it a few times, but I think this is a good exercise. Any particular details that you liked CoralLevang ?

Last Edited: December 16, 2015, 6:04 PM