By in Personal

Chaotic Uncertainty with Sunshine and Alignment

It is 10:00 in the morning and it is sunny and a nice, comfortable 65F degrees already with highs at 73F. I hear the mowers off in the distance.

Even though I feel dog-day tired, I am feeling a serenity today that I have not felt in a very long time. Things feel somewhat "aligned" in the midst of some rather chaotic uncertainty.

My life has always felt rather chaotically uncertain.

Some would say that is personality that drives that and I should learn to "chill out" and choose a different personality. If things were only that simple. You want me to be driven and able to handle whatever you decide you need at a moment's notice AND you want me to be calm, "chill," and keep my mouth shut. Hmmm.

Growing up in the craziness of a family when you do not know which end is up, whether or not someone will be sober, or you walk on eggshells because you do not know what will set off someone's rage...

Yes, these are the things that make some of us able to get things done with little direction, in less time, and with limited resource. But it does not come without a price, because it still feels like "survival mode." We learn to manage ourselves a little differently, but these are the things that have fed our strengths...and our challenges.

Today has some of those elements apparent to me, but it does not feel so crazy. Like I said, it is as if things are lining up in a way that makes some sense.

What makes some sense right now is for me to step out into the sunshine, drive down to Starbucks for that coffee (now that my phone has stopped ringing this morning), and finish this darned book before heading to the library this afternoon.

Have a peace-filled day!

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Copyright © 2015 Coral Levang

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Coins: 9424, $14.14, 70%


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lexiconlover wrote on October 5, 2015, 1:44 PM

I thought you had already left for the day. Lol. Have fun at Starbucks.

markgraham wrote on October 5, 2015, 3:42 PM

There is a saying; the best well-laid plans do not ever work or something like that. Enjoy your day,

LeaPea2417 wrote on October 5, 2015, 6:38 PM

I hope you had a great day and all went well as planned on his sunny day.

wolfgirl569 wrote on October 5, 2015, 7:31 PM

I too thought you had headed out earlier. Hope you got the book finished and had a great day.

Feisty56 wrote on October 5, 2015, 10:15 PM

I'm pleased to hear you're feeling more at peace within yourself. As you're aware, the external chaos can be handled when we feel okay within ourselves. What a difference a sunny, pleasant day can make, too!

CalmGemini wrote on October 8, 2015, 12:48 PM

Hope you did finish reading the book.I too wish you a peace-filled day.