By in Spirituality


Spirituality is not normally a Category I Post in

But this article was provoked / suggested by the music I wrote about here .

Back in the 60s

I was a teenager at that time and the term "swinging 60s" hadn't reached the Welsh Valleys or if it had, parents were keeping it strictly under lock and key!

I will Follow Him

At that time, in the UK, a woman was still considered to be her husband's property. At least the tax people considered it so. Even in the 70s, when I took out an insurance policy on which you got a tax rebate, my husband got the rebate, not me, even though I paid the premium! You can tell that that still rankles 40 or more years later. emoticon :grin:

At that time, it was also considered that a woman would follow her husband, to live where he lived. This was my mother's view and she passed it on to me. Mind you, in Northern Ireland, when a couple got married, they were more likely to live near the woman's mother. So when I came to Northern Ireland as a stranger, my future husband's mother saw me as a threat that would take her only son away from her!

In the school I attended, which was all girls, the motto was Car A Gwasanaethau, which means Love and Service and a school song was written with some of the words stating that fame was not to be sought after, but quiet love and service. In school, we read the story of Ruth and Naomi, with the famous words "whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people".

Should We Follow?

Here is the question. Is following correct? In the 60s, it was expected that the man led and the woman followed. That has changed, for instance, it is no longer a defence in court to say that "my husband made me". That used to be a valid defence but no longer.

Have We Thought About It?

If we are following something are we doing so because we have thought about it, considered all the points and found it good? Or are we following because we have been caught up by the beauty of a song "He is my destiny", or our emotions or because it is just what we were taught?

According to Wikipedia, Little Peggy March's version of "I will Follow Him" was used in the film "Scorpio Rising" which looks at the theme of blindly and obsessively following an ideology, with no good outcome.


Image Credit » by oscarwcastillo

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CoralLevang wrote on August 20, 2015, 4:35 PM

I was born in 1955, so I think I was stuck between the two ideological stances. Plus, I questioned everything, so even though the "following him" was still so ingrained, I heard the howls of the rabid rebels. And I wondered then, why I was so confused. emoticon :winking:

Feisty56 wrote on August 20, 2015, 7:36 PM

When married to my first husband, I did my best to at least meet him halfway on things. One of those was attending his church. We attended a few couples' gatherings where we were told by the minister that no matter what your husband tells you to do, you must do it, even if he should tell you to rob a bank. The only thing as his wife that you have open to you is to pray God will change your husband's mind. But rest assured, dear women, your husband will have to answer for YOUR sins on Judgement Day. That was the last time I went to that church.

DWDavisRSL wrote on August 20, 2015, 10:25 PM

My wife doesn't have to worry about following me because when we moved to NC twenty years ago, I told her I was home to stay and not going anywhere. She doesn't have to worry about me following her either. I told her if she gets a great job offer back up north I'll be right here when she wants to come home for visits. emoticon :smile:

Paulie wrote on August 20, 2015, 11:47 PM

With this earlier ideology of following the husband which has its roots in the Bible, there was definitely a lot less divorce in the 60s than there is now.

cmoneyspinner wrote on August 21, 2015, 11:11 AM

“My husband made me do it”? Interesting defense. I'd call it nonsense! Although I remember in the movie “Oliver” some words to the effect that the man was responsible for his wife's actions. I don't know about all that “legal stuff”. My husband and I just got married because we loved each other and wanted to stay together. Some couples have to get separated because of a distress. One goes and builds a new home and then makes sure they bring their mate over so they can be reunited. If you're not going to be a couple that stays together why bother getting married? What's following got to do with it? It's a union! Period.

RE: The rebate? I can see why that rankles you. Along a similar vein, sometimes when a husband dies, first wives get what the other wives had hoped for and it's perfectly legal. I do so support First Wives Clubs. :)

BarbRad wrote on August 21, 2015, 3:18 PM

Funny you should mention that. My husband is very disappointed that I don't want to move back to Templeton, where he would prefer we live again. Live is so much simpler here for me because of the air conditioning and dishwasher and more space. The trade of is that we are too close to our neighbors here and it is noisy instead of quiet. Currently he goes home for most of the day and I stay here to work. He comes back at night for TV (which is not at the other house) and to sleep.

MegL wrote on August 21, 2015, 4:52 PM

When I got married, the term"obey" was still part of the wedding service, though I asked for it not to be used.

LoudMan wrote on August 22, 2015, 6:03 PM

And a whole lot more spousal abuse.

VinceSummers wrote on August 23, 2015, 7:50 AM

If you are just asking for people's opinions, these will vary from one end of the spectrum to the other. I don't need a human opinion. The vastly superior scriptural position is quite balanced. Women are greatly respected and are not property, yet the husband is to take the role of family head squarely on his shoulders, while carefully listening to what she says and wishes so he will make better decisions. Also the children should be heard.

VinceSummers wrote on August 23, 2015, 7:52 AM

This sounds more like the kind of church the devil would enjoy.

VinceSummers wrote on August 23, 2015, 7:54 AM

Paulie, the way this article is written has nothing to do with the accurate Bible description.

cheri wrote on August 26, 2015, 9:53 PM

These are something new to me. Thanks for sharing

chrisandmark wrote on September 15, 2015, 7:28 AM

It's amazing how our attitudes have changed, although if you scratch beneath the surface I'm not sure things are all that different now