A friend of mine recently decided to take his own life last Monday. He was a friend I use to work with. When I heard the news I almost forgot to breathe and was struggling for breath. It took alot out of me and it caught me off guard. He was always smiling and he was always quick to help someone out. He saw the best in people and made them feel like they were so special. Quickly I asked myself if I had of reached out he would maybe still be here. I heard my buddies at work talking about how he doesn't answer his phone or email any more, and I just feel that at that point i should have sought him out in any way I could of. None of this is healthy but this is the process we go through. I still haven't shed a tear even though the story is sad. But I'm angry mostly and hurt. That he didn't reach out to me. And he left a wake of pain for his family and friends.
This is truly awful news and very disturbing.
I go back and fourth. I have compassion and I think ultimately it is your decision to make. You were given a precious gift and you can cherish it or throw it away. But before you ever contemplate suicide think of the wake of pain you leave behind. Because to me this is the saddest part to accept.
"suicide isn't painless, when you leave everyone in pain" NOFX