Need to Rid Myself of this Hate
I'm the kind of person who doesn't hate others. I may strongly dislike someone but I have always seen hating people as a waste of emotion. Why feel for the person when you can simply just not care and move on with your life? I haven't truly disliked someone on the verge of hating them since I was a sophomore in high school. And that was nearly 5 years ago.
However, after this summer of going through a bad " breakup " I guess to put it lightly, I am now in the hate stage. I have never felt so much hatred towards a person. So much hatred that I can understand why people kill others out of rage (don't worry, I'm not that mad crazy to go to that length) but every time I see his face I want to trip him or punch him in his stupid smug face.
I've been building up a hate for him for the past couple weeks but last night drew the line. Last night I got off work and he and his coworker were going out to smoke (they did the same last week too which I don't understand because a) they could close their store which their supposed to be doing and smoke together after having been done with their work and b) he KNOWS I get off around that time (earlier than they do).
Well, last night he and his coworker end up in front of me in the hallway that leads to the employee parking. (Before entering the hall, he had also been standing in front of his store waiting for his coworker/talking to the janitor.) Well once we get outside his coworker holds the door for me (I say thanks) and the guy walks in front of the sidewalk so I don't pass in front of him, like he's making sure I don't cross his line of vision. The second I got in my car I wanted to scream. I have NEVER felt so much hate and pain and anger in my life. I hate feeling this but there's so much anger! And it won't go away until enough time has passed. I just wish I knew how much more time needs to pass before I'm actually going to get over this because I'm getting tired of waiting.
It sucks when you want to try to understand every little thing in life, why people do what they do even when their personalities don't seem to match up with their actions, but sometimes there's just things that you'll never get an explanation for and all you can do is learn to accept that fact and try your best to move past it.