Vacation Time: Exhausted, Concerned, and Excited
I tried to write last night, but fell asleep partially propped up on a few pillows with my keyboard on my lap. I managed to get about 100 characters written. Of course, I have scrapped them here his morning.
Starting today, I am taking some time off away from work. Some have congratulated me on taking a vacation. Of course, I smile, nod, and simply say, "Thank you." Inside, I am thinking, "Vacation? If only you knew."
I am a part-time contractor, with no benefits, including vacation. So, if I am not put on the schedule, I am not paid. In this case, I was not scheduled for next week. I have opted to take the entire month of August off. Other than that, I have a fixed income, which will pay my rent and not much more.
I chose not to be put on the schedule this next month, claiming I want to take my birthday month off. I wonder if I am a bit crazy to do so. Yet, there is a bit of the unknown out there, as I am taking these next six weeks to take care of some business, do some networking, and put myself in a situation where I must make some choices. I seem to be orchestrating a bit of an extreme deadline for myself.
I used to do the same thing to myself when I was at university (living in the dorms at age 47). I did not typically start the actual writing of my papers until 12 to 24 hours before they were due. I would often pull all-nighters, and turn in my first drafts with a few minor changes. I never received less than an A- on any of these long project papers.
So, it seems, that I am plopping myself into one of these familiar "sink-or-swim" situations. It may not always feel peaceful and calm, but it forces me to take some action that I might not take otherwise. In this case, it is just long enough to be uncomfortable, without tying the anchor around my neck.
I shall share more and more, as time goes on. Suffice it to say, for now, that I am excited, considering the open possibilities.
As I look over what I can remember of my nearly 60 decades, this has been my modus operandi throughout my life. I wonder just what this says about me. It is difficult to see these qualities in a positive light, when I have heard the adjectives and labels (from others) presented so negatively.
And now, I should try to get a couple more hours of sleep. It is only 5 o'clock. What the heck am I doing awake so early on my vacation?
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0500 PDT 13,044 19.57
22.5 hr -- +41/$.07 //108.35 to 105.86 avg
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© Copyright 2015 - Coral Levang. All Rights Reserved
vacation | choices | decision | sinkorswim | FOPP | stress
Image Credit » https://pixabay.com/en/pier-jetty-ocean-sea-water-way-569314/ by Unsplash
Comments
CoralLevang wrote on July 24, 2015, 9:06 AM
&AbbyG *laughs* Sometimes, too damned full!
MegL wrote on July 24, 2015, 9:11 AM
I used to pull all nighters for my university projects but as time has gone on, (and I have gone back to University) I now find myself doing the work much earlier and it's a LOT more relaxing.
CoralLevang wrote on July 24, 2015, 9:47 AM
I have considered going back, as well.
deafdiva wrote on July 24, 2015, 10:40 AM
well I hope you achieve what you need to do while you have time off!
inertia4 wrote on July 24, 2015, 10:44 AM
A vacation is just to rest and chill. I like that. I think you deserve time off for yourself. So enjoy that six weeks. We all need down time.
DWDavisRSL wrote on July 24, 2015, 11:13 AM
If you are like me, you are up early and will stay up late on your vacation because you don't want to waste a minute of it.
CoralLevang wrote on July 24, 2015, 11:25 AM
Thanks, deafdiva ... It's more about decisions. I need all the hope I can get!
CoralLevang wrote on July 24, 2015, 11:25 AM
inertia4 Will you pay my rent? ROFLMAO
CoralLevang wrote on July 24, 2015, 11:27 AM
DWDavisRSL Um, erm...uh.....I guess you might say that....about life, in general.
inertia4 wrote on July 24, 2015, 1:09 PM
I wish. If I as able to help I would. I am in no position right now to do anything. So, sorry. I know it's a joke. Anyway, enjoy your time off.
CoralLevang wrote on July 24, 2015, 4:51 PM
Dang! And here I thought you might be my long-lost sugar daddy.
Paulie wrote on July 25, 2015, 3:04 AM
I think one of the reasons you can't sleep is because you miss your friend who is away on the fishing trip. You should try to get more sleep at night for better health.
DWDavisRSL wrote on July 25, 2015, 8:44 AM
*Slaps self on forehead, takes foot out of mouth after a vigorous stomping*
CoralLevang wrote on July 25, 2015, 10:56 AM
*laughs* You crack me up. You know, I think you and I could be siblings. A brother from a different mother, perhaps?
CoralLevang wrote on July 25, 2015, 10:59 AM
Paulie *laughs so hard* The reason I cannot sleep has nothing to do with him or his fishing trip. If that were the case, I would get good night's sleep otherwise. I try to get more sleep for better health, but there are many things that go on.
jiangliu1949 wrote on July 26, 2015, 2:22 AM
Don't overtax yourself ! After vacation you will feel rejuvenate and refreshed .Would you tell me what "tying the anchor around my neck" means?
CoralLevang wrote on July 26, 2015, 2:47 AM
An anchor is what a ship/boat throws into the sea which goes to the bottom, to keep the boat from drifting.
1There was a Biblical reference that I remember about it being better to tie a millstone around one's neck and cast into the sea, than to lead someone astray. Tying the anchor to one's neck would mean that they would sink and drown.
jiangliu1949 wrote on July 26, 2015, 4:03 AM
Thank you for explaining it to me ! I have searched it online ,but getting no answer.If so ,I think this word refered to "sink-or-swim".
CoralLevang wrote on July 26, 2015, 9:10 AM
jiangliu1949 Here is an anchor: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anchor . If one would tie it around one's neck, using the lines/ropes and jump into the water, it would drown them. It would be suicide or murder, depending on who did it. So, it would be sheer foolishness to do something that was like tying an anchor around one's neck. "Sink-or-swim" suggests either failure or success. When you were in university, and had to study for a test, and were still uncertain of the material before taking the exam, you might have said, "I studied as best I knew how, and I will take the exam. It's sink or swim." It might also be used when you are given a task at work without proper training, and the boss leaves you in-charge for the day, and it's sink or swim.
2jiangliu1949 wrote on July 27, 2015, 4:20 AM
Thanks a lot! you spent so much time telling me how they have a nice difference `between the idioms.I am paying attention to idioms in my learning English.I find that sometimes even though I know each word in an idiom ,but don't know what the idiom means.