By in Personal

M Is for Music and Other Intimate Details

(Author's Note: This post is not intended to warn people for sharing who they are, being vulnerable, or any other things that would suggest we live in fear. It is simply to tell my story of living unmasked. All people must be aware that there is always a risk if they choose to share personal details of their lives and world, and it gets in the hands of unscrupulous people. This is not unlike meeting face-to-face with similar bad people. So, I ask that any comments left NOT be in criticism of my being transparent or warning me of the evils of the world. Thank you.)

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This past week, I had a young man in my transition class who took it upon himself to find out all he could about me. I have to admit that it was a bit unnerving when he knew so many intimate details of my life and asked me about them.

Nothing he knew is private, as I have written about it and put it up online. But what felt uncomfortable was that he had taken the time to investigate and read. I, like so many others, think that what we put up on the Internet is like writing in a journal. Who really reads it? Yet, some really do.

I asked him, "Why did you decide to do (this)?"

He responded, "Because I think you are an interesting person."

I really did not know what to do with this, because I, like the very people I coach, have moments where I doubt myself. I found myself struggling with the "what is so interesting about me?" question, which I left unspoken.

One of the things he found was "very cool" was what I shared about my musical background. He read my blog post, "M Is for Music," which shared my story of growing up in the music business, as well as my own music career. He knew of my father.

Then he asked me if I still sang. I told him that I did not, other than the occasional karaoke night. He did not miss a beat with his next question...

"Why not?"

It felt like a stinging slap across my face. A challenge to a duel. I had met my match. This young man is like me...a "lightning bolt of instigation."

He followed up with, "By the way, you are a good writer. I like your style."

I admit that my head was reeling by this time. In two minutes, I felt that I had been completely exposed by someone who did not know me, yet knew everything about me...much more than just what I have shared in my writing or speaking.

The connection that we, as humans, make with one another can be very powerful. We become open and honest. We allow others to see into our very souls. We want to trust.

Yet, it leaves us feeling exposed...naked...and vulnerable.

I am grateful for this lesson yesterday. Without it, I would not be reminded that when I stay genuine and open to share, I would not experience truth in connection to others. I would not hear that others find me "interesting," think I am "a good writer," or that what I share is "very cool."

I appreciate hearing those compliments, but not simply for compliment sake, as it tends to make me feel embarrassed. Contrary to what others think about people who are open and disclosing, I really do not like being the center of intention, as my flaws are also exposed. That is what happens when I agree to put myself "out there."

Yet, unless I/we are willing to do so, we will never have genuine moments with genuine people. That is the risk that I am willing to take.

© Copyright 2015 - Coral Levang. All Rights Reserved.

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Image Credit » by geralt

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CalmGemini wrote on June 26, 2015, 3:08 PM

You are right. When you stay genuine and open,you are complimented. But then, your flaws are exposed . If you want to have genuine moments with genuine people you will have to take these risks. Well,there are two sides to a coin.

CoralLevang wrote on June 26, 2015, 3:13 PM

CalmGemini Thank you. Taking those risks can certainly be a bit unsettling, most certainly.