At a Standstill
Well, to be honest...
I haven't been much of an active member for the past months. And having logged in again (you can give me ten facepalms right now) because of an email I've received about updates of this site, I got strings of guilt pulling me in all directions, so to speak.
And then it hit me. I have somehow lost that joy I find in writing. I am somehow caught up in the intricacies and oppression in the real world. I'm slowly sucked into that whirlpool madness in the corporate ladder, struggling to stay afloat while paddling forever to reach that seemingly unreachable destination.
I'm at a standstill - too afraid to leap forward, and too wary to go back.
Sometimes, it's just too much. Everything's too much to handle. Even if it's beyond my control, I still stress about it. I fuss a lot and get easily frustrated. I think I'm a lost fish in a very big ocean. It's like being Nemo ending up in an aquarium where I'm not supposed to be.
I do love my work, but I'm afraid it's slowly eating away my soul. I look forward to the paydays, make cash advances when wallet's becoming thin, and currently weighed down by debt - although it may not be that much compared to others.
Fear plagues me. Paranoia sets in every time I try to make a life-changing step.
I am at a standstill. Can anyone help me?
Image Credit » mine