By in Family

My Dysfunctional Family

Do ever you feel as though your family is so dysfunctional that there is no hope for them to ever be “normal” and happy (like the picture perfect family in the featured image)? Read accounts about the children of King David. Contrast and compare to your present and it just might give you hope.

David was the second king of ancient . He had more than one wife and several children resulted from his various unions.

One son was named Absalom. That name means “peacemaker”. That name did not suit the young man's character. Although he caused his father a lot of grief, when he died, David mourned and wept bitterly.

Another son was named Solomon. Yes. The same King Solomon many refer to as “the wisest man in the world”. His name means “the peaceful”. For the most part, growing up in his father's house, he did not give his father reason to be sorrowful. In fact, so good a child was he that when David was on his death bed, he chose Solomon to be the next to ascend to the throne and reign over Israel.

Both sons killed their brothers; albeit for very different reasons. Absalom killed Amnon. Solomon killed Adonijah. Absalom's story can be found in 2 Samuel; and details about Solomon are recorded in 1 Kings.

After reading about these royal children, take another look at your seemingly dysfunctional family. How do they look to you now?

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Thamar par Cabanel

“Absalom, with his sister Thamar”, Alexandre Cabanel [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Image Credit » by White77

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CoralLevang wrote on June 14, 2015, 3:43 PM

We are not taught those lessons of dysfunction in family as children, but made to feel shame and guilt because we are so "bad." Thank you for the lessons.

valmnz wrote on June 14, 2015, 3:46 PM

I would not consider the family above as normal. A normal family has it's rough edges, it's ups and downs, it's rocky path to follow. The stereotyped family lacks character. Give me my own less than beautiful family any day.

MegL wrote on June 14, 2015, 4:49 PM

Maybe many of us lived in what might be called dysfunctional families but they were just what we knew at the time. My friend should never have been born, according to my mother. She said that the mother refused to speak to the father for months when she realised she was pregnant with her second child. This was over 60 years ago. When the child was hungry she was told to go and see aunty as she would feed her! Yet that girl became a teacher and a headmistress though she never had any children of her own. Her family was well to do. They had a fridge when I had never even heard of one or the concept of ice cubes.

Last Edited: June 14, 2015, 4:50 PM

WordChazer wrote on June 14, 2015, 5:23 PM

Well, we have no killings that I know of in my in-laws extended tribe, although the family is big enough for that, for sure. We do have some dysfunction though, that is a definite.

WritingLover wrote on June 14, 2015, 5:33 PM

On the whole I think I have a pretty good and functional family compared to a lot of people that I know.

msiduri wrote on June 14, 2015, 6:06 PM

Point taken. Nobody's family is perfect because people aren't perfect. They hurt each other. What's hoped is that despite all that, they loved each other. It doesn't happen all the time.

peachpurple wrote on June 15, 2015, 3:37 AM

I kill you and you kill me doesn't sound a healthy family bonding at all. Mire on revenge

BarbRad wrote on June 15, 2015, 4:09 AM

The Bibles does not try to gloss over human sin. Yet God's grace covers the repentant hearts. I have learned that in my own family. Miracles can happen when families allow God to enter their dysfunction and change them from within.

GrannyGee wrote on June 15, 2015, 7:09 AM

Oh no doubt that my family was the most dysfunctional ... :) Truthfully, you just wouldn't believe the natural hate for the other when little ones began to exert their personalities. Love and hate was like water ... and loving for something to happen to the other was natural. Craziest family I ever saw. They are all gone now ... and can't defend themselves. I loved them even if they were mean, ugly, evil people :)

jiangliu1949 wrote on June 15, 2015, 8:00 AM

In ancient times ,It was never rare for members of royal families to cannibalize each other struggling for the throne .I don't think they were as united as people from impoverished families .

KristinRavelle wrote on June 15, 2015, 9:43 PM

Well, there's not likely such a thing as 'normal'. I think it's most important to be with those who care for you and treat you well.

cmoneyspinner wrote on June 16, 2015, 9:10 AM

Thanks for commenting. The varied responses are insightful and touching. I come from a large family. Dysfunctional? Some of us are no longer here and the ones remaining (if they feel like me) are too old to care. When I married, I gave birth to a tribe. We should realize that we are nothing but the dust of the earth and prepare ourselves to meet our Creator. Hope He is happy to see us. :)

Last Edited: June 16, 2015, 9:13 AM

WordChazer wrote on June 16, 2015, 2:35 PM

That's a response and a half cmoneyspinner . I know for sure I am going to drive our Good Lord crazy - such that He might well wonder if I'd not be better tormenting him downstairs instead. Give him a taste of his own, so to speak.

cmoneyspinner wrote on April 18, 2017, 3:14 PM

Medium republish.