By in Personal

*I Do Not Have Friends*

Like the title says I do not have friends. Not because I am a bad person or not likable but because I find many people want you to be just like them. Let me explain... A lot of people have a ton more money than what we have. They want to go out to eat, go to coffee shops, go to the mall, etc. I do not have that kind of money to keep up with them. Most people cannot accept this fact.

My husband and I met a couple that we liked. We were talking for hours and we thought it could be a lasting friendship. I guess they thought we were joking when we said we had $50 to our name to last an entire week because they told us we should go on a cruise with them! WHAT? I said, yeah maybe if we ever win the lottery-I wasn't kidding. No we do not have the money for a cruise. In fact my husband and I never even had a honeymoon and we have never been on a vacation just the two of us at all.

Most people do not just want to sit at a house to hang out. They want to go places and do things. I completely get it-I wish I could but that is not my life. So, that is why I have no offline friends. I cannot keep up with the lifestyle they want me to fit into.

I do not go out, I do not buy clothes at fancy places (thrift store shopping for me only), we do not vacation once a year, I don't shop at the mall, I don't go out to eat, I don't buy anything for myself unless I absolutely NEED it, etc... This is my life-welcome to it!

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SimeyC wrote on June 11, 2014, 1:13 PM

We sit in the house often with friends and hang out - there's usually beer involved, but we do have friends who don't even have $10 for the week who hang out too!

Bensen32 wrote on June 11, 2014, 1:14 PM

I agree and understand, although I save all I can so once a year my son and I can go on vacation, of course that mean not doing many things thru the rest of the year and your right people just dont get it.

momathome wrote on June 11, 2014, 1:16 PM

I completely understand where you are coming from. We have a few friends that are always doing those types of things and of course we don't do any of that so we don't "hang out" a lot but we still visit at home sometimes and we've gone to garage sales together and local community activities (such as back to school nights at various churches). Maybe you could try doing things like that with them instead?

LovingMyBabies wrote on June 11, 2014, 1:19 PM

That is great that your like that. I live in a military town where most people here have a TON more money than we have. So it is hard to find real friends that don't care about you having money or not...

LovingMyBabies wrote on June 11, 2014, 1:20 PM

People absolutely do not understand what having NO money means! It is frustrating.

LovingMyBabies wrote on June 11, 2014, 1:20 PM

Absolutely, I have always been poor so I do feel for others who live the way I have had to my entire life.

LovingMyBabies wrote on June 11, 2014, 1:22 PM

You know, it also brings jealousy into the equation and I don't want to live that way. I live in a military town so its really hard to make friends here because most of them want to do the things I mentioned-because they have the money to do it. They cannot understand not everyone has that kind of money.

LovingMyBabies wrote on June 11, 2014, 1:23 PM

Yeah, I don't do any of those things because I can't. People think I am nuts and don't get how I can live this way-the truth is I am pretty used to it. I accept it because it is my life. Yup self employed is not all its cracked up to be-my husband and I know that first hand...

NicoleL5822 wrote on June 11, 2014, 1:24 PM

Well I'm the same. I'm home with my kids and their needs are more important then mines. I'm on a limited income which is why I work from home but my priority is the kids. Don't feel any kind of way.

Platespinner wrote on June 11, 2014, 1:33 PM

I've been in your shoes financially and continue to be in your shoes socially. We set different priorities than most of the people we know do and it impacts the ability to have close friends. Most people over the years, have though we were a bit "out there.."

We have always managed to take a "vacation" of some form or other, but it's usually something cheap. Camping (as in with a tent) or visiting family

LovingMyBabies wrote on June 11, 2014, 1:37 PM

Yeah I wish more people understood this and still accepted me but that does not happen.

LovingMyBabies wrote on June 11, 2014, 1:48 PM

Yeah it is hard to find people on the same level we are on. Either they are still at the "partying" stage or they want us to be rich like they are. It's hard to just find good, Christian couples to enjoy our time with. I wish I had the money to go camping! I did it once as a teenager with my church and I loved it.

x0MandyLynn0x wrote on June 11, 2014, 2:52 PM

We have that in common. And like you said, it's not because I'm bad or unlikable either. I just tend to keep to myself more, I don't get out much. I'm pretty 'shy' in person. Think I'd rather just stay home anyways...

I talk to people even on 'here' than I do in reality. (Like you and others).

So I'm the same way as you! (Money is a struggle too.)

GrannyGee wrote on June 11, 2014, 3:06 PM

I am a private person, and the real friends I have, my husband and I have... are people who aren't pretentious, and most like us... don't have a lot of money. So, you would be my kind of friend. Money doesn't make the person... though, I wish we all had lots of it... it does make it fun to not want... fun to give where needed, to make dreams come true for oneself, and others. :))) Gloria/Granny Gee

LovingMyBabies wrote on June 11, 2014, 3:19 PM

Yeah in this town it's really hard to find people like you and I. Most people have a lot of money and want to always be on the go-I do not have that luxury. I am super shy in person as well which doesn't help either.

LovingMyBabies wrote on June 11, 2014, 3:21 PM

=) Aw, thanks! I wish more people were like that around here. Sadly, they have money and want to flaunt it. Even if I had money-I would save it not show it off to the whole world. I guess I am just different..

gpeter15 wrote on June 11, 2014, 5:23 PM

I don't have a lot of money, neither and I have only a few friends that are really my friends.

AinsleyJo1952 wrote on June 11, 2014, 5:42 PM

I have friends in many different income brackets. Right now, I'm homeless (but in a pampered princess kind of way). At one time, I lived very comfortably and didn't even have to think about things I have to think about now -- as in whether or not I should splurge and get some ice cream. I have to put off vehicle repairs that I once could easily do, leaving my minivan (See what I mean? I'm not down to pushing a shopping cart like many homeless people...) to deteriorate a little more. Several of my friends are doing things that they can afford and I can't. Just so long as they're doing it honestly and not stealing from others to make it happen, I'm very okay with that. They deserve it! What we do together are either things that we can all afford to enjoy or else the person who is able to afford it and wants the company does the treating. I've been both the treater and the treatee during my 61+ years.

Etc. wrote on June 11, 2014, 5:56 PM

First, let me say, nice to see you here!
Second, I've never had many friends. And, it seems like something always comes between us--generally distance: people move. My husband, luckily, is a friend. No family live close. I like to do sort of lonely things--writing, gardening, painting . . . And, I don't have patience to seek out people just to be around them. There aren't many people doing the things I do in this small town. BUT, I do enjoy people where I find them: the grocery store, the hairdresser . . . Everyone has something good going on, at least in small doses. I'm glad I'm me; even if I'm a little big different in the things I like to do.

LovingMyBabies wrote on June 11, 2014, 6:51 PM

That is a good idea, I wish I knew how to do things like that but honestly I am lost. Lol.

LovingMyBabies wrote on June 11, 2014, 6:52 PM

Yeah, most people want you to be rich like they are. That's not going to happen for me...ever.

sukeena1961 wrote on June 11, 2014, 9:05 PM

I don't have friends for the same reason. We have a lot of cook outs at my house, but it's always family. Every year I have a Halloween party and a haunted trail, My husband and I have never had a honeymoon and when I was working I never took my vacation time, I just took my vacation pay and continued to work through my vacation. I can certainly relate.

LisaSteinmetz wrote on June 11, 2014, 9:57 PM

I'm a private person who enjoys her privacy a little too much. I do have a best friend who is 4 legged and always greets me at the door when I come home from work or wherever I go. I have a few friends at work, but that is only casual as we only see each other at work and rarely outside of it. Most of them have money and I am living paycheck to paycheck. I get my paycheck on Thursday and by Friday or Saturday it's gone as I only work part time and I'm caring for my Mom who isn't able to work.
Honestly though I prefer being around animals more than people mainly because they don't have a judgmental bone in their furry bodies and their love is unconditional.

LovingMyBabies wrote on June 13, 2014, 10:40 AM

Aw, you made me tear up-that is so sweet of you! I would LOVE to meet you and your wife. =) Your so amazing.