By in Personal

The Worst Night of My Life

December 9th was the worst night of my life. I'd rushed out the door to work that afternoon without saying goodbye to either of my parents because I was running late. While I was waiting outside the school to pick up the girls I worked as a nanny for, their mom texted me asking if I could work late that night so she could go out with a friend. I really didn't want to, but I knew she was stressed out from work and could use some fun so I said yes. During work that night, my fiancé and I had our first argument ever - via text messages. When I left work, I made a stop at Subway and Whole Foods before heading home. I had no idea I was about to walk into a living nightmare.

When I got home, I found my dad's body laying on the family room floor. His body was already starting to get cold, his mouth was open, his eyes half closed. I screamed and my mom came running from the bedroom where she'd been sleeping. The next hours I remember only in flashes. Screaming to the 911 operator to send help as I did CPR - even though I knew it was futile. The EMTs saying he was already gone. Sobbing on the phone to my fiancé. The undertakers the grim reaper himself walking through the front door...all black clothes, black trench coats and wide brimmed hats.

The next week was pure hell, only the presence of my fiancé kept my mom and I sane. My dad's final wishes were to be cremated and no service, but his sister guilt tripped my mom into having a service. His sister ended up using the entire visitation time to flirt with an old childhood sweetheart while my mom, sister, and I walked around trying to not faint. She's still holding a grudge against me I hear, because I turned down her invitation to Christmas at her house two weeks after the funeral.

When someone dies, I have to end up seeing family's true colors in the aftermath.

Image Credit » by spustlik

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WordChazer wrote on May 28, 2015, 2:24 PM

With my in-laws, we didn't have to wait until someone died to see some of them in a whole new (unflattering) light. I don't blame you for turning down your aunt's invite. I have spent Christmas with my in-laws. Never again!

One of my closest friends is a funeral arranger, and she is completely the opposite of those undertakers you describe. They're not all like that, I promise. My friend is a riot at times and rock at all others.


Cinna wrote on May 28, 2015, 2:26 PM

I made the cops crack up when the undertakers arrived...I blurted out " guys sure look the part!"

WordChazer wrote on May 28, 2015, 3:17 PM

At least there WAS humor there, among the sadness, then.

Kasman wrote on May 28, 2015, 4:27 PM

I gets even worse if there is the hint of a will in the air!

AliCanary wrote on May 28, 2015, 6:31 PM

Oh, what a horrible experience for you. I was with my dad when he died, but it was not a shock, like it was with yours. He had cancer. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to say goodbye and that you had to deal with his sister's bizarre behaviour.

wolfgirl569 wrote on May 28, 2015, 7:04 PM

Yes you do see true colors. But I do like to see a showing at least. It helps give people closure

Sailorchronos wrote on May 30, 2015, 9:53 AM

I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like that. My beloved aunt also died suddenly from a heart attack and her youngest son was the one who found her collapsed in her home. It was hard for everyone, since she had been the glue that held the family together. She had no will, which forced her four children to go through the harrowing process of agreeing on how to proceed. None of them speak regularly to each other any more, which is sad.

msiduri wrote on May 30, 2015, 1:25 PM

I'm sorry your went through this. It's something no one young should have to. And then dealing with bizarre family behavior later is just salt in the wounds.

People do and say strange things under stress. My father died young and quite unexpectedly in a car accidents. At his funeral, some friends came in visibly drunk. My godmother leaned over to my mother and said rather too loudly, "Look what the cat dragged in." My mother couldn't help but laugh, which, of course, got her the stink eye of everyone.

Serenafair wrote on May 31, 2015, 8:06 PM

So sorry you had this happen, sadly though stuff like this can bring out the worst in people. Families fighting over arrangements the departed had aid they wanted, belongings and such. I remember when my grandmother died, she stated she wanted to be buried in this one dress she got from my grandfather... One of my aunts decided to "misplace" the dress and so my grandmother was buried in something else. About a year later she showed up to a family event wearing the dress... Needless to say my mom and her siblings were beyond angry at my aunt. None have spoke to her since.

CoralLevang wrote on June 14, 2015, 7:06 PM

I am so sorry, Cinna , that you have had to experience this. I lost my father in January. Though I wasn't down in CA to witness it, you are right about true colors. My mother passed away 4 yrs ago today (June 14) and I saw that true colors bit in rainbows. Never easy. Hugs.