By in Family

When Family Issues Rear Their Ugly Heads

I often wonder why generally intelligent and well-adjusted people can have such issues between them, especially within the very family units that are expected to behave more kindly to one another.

This is certainly not new, as it spans time in human interaction. Yet, the idealist in me wants to believe that it can be avoided, if simply we were more aware. The problem with that idea is that all the awareness in the world does not account for other differences in understanding, attitudes, or willingness.

There is also the case to be made for how we communicate, which seems to have changed with technology. Expectations are such that modern methods should be the adopted norm for all. This is not always effective, as I suggested in The Challenge of Clear Communication.

Will we ever get it right? Will the hurts and issues in families ever be healed or solved?

It certainly seems that the legacies are passed on from generation-to-generation.

© Coral Levang, 2015 All rights reserved.

| | |

Image Credit » by hannahpirnie

You will need an account to comment - feel free to register or login.


Soonerdad3 wrote on May 10, 2015, 5:43 PM

I wish I had the perfect answer, but I know in my family it was possible for a deep seated issue was able to be finally resolved between two my older sisters and our mother. For far too many years they would not even speak to each other and now that has changed.

CoralLevang wrote on May 10, 2015, 5:55 PM

There are never any perfect or easy answers. I am glad to hear that the situation in your family has been resolved.

CoralLevang wrote on May 10, 2015, 8:59 PM

Life goes on just fine for some people, but for those who value relationship, there is always a loss.

Hollyhocks100 wrote on May 11, 2015, 5:59 AM

My daughter and I " Clash" all the time, such a shame as she is my only child and obviously I´m her only mother.

MegL wrote on May 11, 2015, 8:01 AM

Hurt feelings cannot be healed by intellect.

CoralLevang wrote on May 11, 2015, 12:03 PM

I, too, am the only mother of an only child (daughter).
What I find oddly comforting is that she will now stand up to me and voice her thoughts, but she won't do it with her soon-to-be ex-husband. As long as she relies on others to do her bidding for her (attorney paid for by her father, and me to help out where I can with other things), she will remain the victim. We do what we can to help, because we don't want them to be thrown to the wolves. Unfortunately, the dynamics are such that we have to stand by and watch and not help sometimes, if they are to become the stronger. emoticon :sad: I just hope that this situation is resolved before I pass. I want to see her strong, capable and able to take on the world that she chose two decades ago. I hate to see her stick her head in the sand. Thanks Hollyhocks100 for letting me vent here. LOL

CoralLevang wrote on May 11, 2015, 12:05 PM

As it stands alone, I would agree with you. However, healing does not take place when simply using emotion. There needs to be a balance of the two.

MegL wrote on May 11, 2015, 1:23 PM

Yes, I agree.

seren3 wrote on May 13, 2015, 10:52 AM

CoralLevang My family is one where people don't talk. We communicate on superficial levels but at least we're still in touch.

PriscillaKing wrote on May 19, 2015, 3:00 PM

A bit specific, but...There was a discussion on the Ozarque blog, where I've found so many good things over the years, about "Ask cultures versus Hint cultures." Some of my father's relatives hold "Hint culture" beliefs like "Everybody ought to know that..." and "If you didn't's no use trying to explain it to you" and "I *did* ask, even if I didn't say those exact words! I asked *nicely*!" And they go to great lengths to show that they're *not* snobs (these are, by and large, not rich people) and are Just Plain Folks. And they wonder why they're perceived as insufferable snobs. The "Hint culture" influence is associated with the church they attend, though not apparently with the denomination to which it belongs. The whole church is perceived by many who don't attend it as a bunch of intolerable snobs, bores, and holier-than-thou types. I don't *like* being around those people, either. But at least I do know *why*.