By in Relationships

When Friends Walk Away

I am experiencing the loss of a number of friendships/relationships. I recognize that many of these relationships are or have been one-sided. But it hurts, nonetheless.

You see, I believe people when they tell me that:

  • They will be there through thick and thin.
  • They value my friendship.
  • We have so many things in common and won't let it go.
  • They love me.

I think what hurts me the most is when things end without explanation. Without validation that the friendship means something, or has ever meant something. Without a conversation where there is a heart-felt truthful conversation.

But those are my unrealistic expectations.

© 2015, Coral Levang

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Image Credit » http://pixabay.com/en/heart-dirty-dirt-structure-ground-401499/ by geralt

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Comments

valmnz wrote on April 6, 2015, 3:51 PM

Life can be so complex at times, for everyone. Things change. I find the best friendships have few expectations. The best friends are those you haven't seen for years then, when your paths do eventually cross, it's just like yesterday.

CoralLevang wrote on April 6, 2015, 3:54 PM

valmnz And these are the friendships that I so value, yes.

I think I am simply in the spot where there seems to be a bit of purging going on. It unsettles me. :-/

rosepetal wrote on April 6, 2015, 3:54 PM

People change, and lives change. It is hard to except sometimes, alone understand. But think of it differently. During the time that the friendship was going strong, did you come away learning something or growing a little bit?

SoundNFury wrote on April 6, 2015, 4:07 PM

That's very sad. Sorry to hear you are going through that. It is difficult and takes work to maintain friendships through the years, that's for sure.

Kasman wrote on April 6, 2015, 4:12 PM

No-one has more than one (at the most two) real true friends. Let them go - I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone who didn't really mean it.

maxeen wrote on April 6, 2015, 4:25 PM

I think in this world we are in we are lucky to see relatives, never mind friends. Everyone is so scattered..Get a dog and you will soon have hundreds of friends--too many-they'll give you no peace..]unless you already have a dog]

Colibry21 wrote on April 6, 2015, 4:34 PM

Sometimes, it's the way it goes. It's unfortunate that it happens, but life can be complicated.

wolfgirl569 wrote on April 6, 2015, 4:50 PM

It just sounds like things are due to change for you. It is sad to let go but look to see what is ahead. Hopefully it is even better

MegL wrote on April 6, 2015, 5:18 PM

That can happen in families too, when one person doesn't feel appreciated. Of course, it can also happen when the person leaving doesn't know how to handle a difficult situation and instead of just listening and thinking of the other, they tell themselves that it's too difficult for them, so they wander off.

GrannyGee wrote on April 6, 2015, 5:52 PM

It's very sad, but .... life is really like that. I just think that people are lucky today, to have one real friend. A lot of times, people have best friends, lots of friends who constantly are stabbing them in the back. I had rather just have 'friends' that I meet up with ... they respect my privacy, I respect theirs.

melon1234 wrote on April 6, 2015, 6:19 PM

I've had friends walk out of my life too, and aftertime I realise it is for the best because if they were a true friend they wouldn't have done it. Some have done it in hurtful ways and some have simply drifted

msiduri wrote on April 6, 2015, 8:04 PM

I can understand this. Last fall, a friend whom I'd know for more than 20 years suddenly stopped talking to me. She gave me no explanation. I was worried that she was ill or in trouble. I finally got an email from her apologizing for being out of touch, that life was good and that she'd send me an email the next day. I was relived. The next email came ripping me for things I'd never said or done. She told me not to bother responding as no response would be read. That was the last I've heard from her.

Last Edited: April 7, 2015, 8:12 AM

PriscillaKing wrote on April 6, 2015, 8:17 PM

I often think this is an Introvert Thing...

allen0187 wrote on April 6, 2015, 9:25 PM

Not everyone you lose is a loss. I've learned that elsson the hard way and I continue to learn it. Some people, friends even, are just not meant to stay in one's life.

jiangliu1949 wrote on April 7, 2015, 5:23 AM

It is hard to have a bosom friend .The fewer we have the friends who say one thing and do the opposite ,the better .

Hollyhocks100 wrote on April 7, 2015, 6:12 AM

I too hate when someone who I considered a friend walks away or cut´s me off. I must admit I have been doing some weeding lately though after a couple of folk I got close to did the dirty on me for what I decided would be the very last time. I had realised years ago that this couple were takers, but we all have flaws so I let it pass until I couldn´t put up with them any longer. I don´t feel at all sad they are out of my life and will happily leave here when my home eventually sells without a passing glance or a goodbye to them.

scheng1 wrote on April 15, 2015, 8:40 AM

I don't believe anyone who says things like that. I rather that they use their actions to prove that they value our friendships.