By in Animals

I Have Been Caught Red-Pawed, by Guiness the Cat

Hello, this is Guiness the Cat.

Well, the jig is up.

No more such-a-good-kitty-for-coming-when-called. Although, in my defense, I did come when she showed up in the backyard looking for me.

It's not my fault she was paying more attention to the jonquils than to me. The ones way over there. Way, way over there on the other side of the greenhouse. (Or at least what's left of the greenhouse, but that's a story for another post.)

She should have been paying more attention to me instead of taking another million photos of jonquils. The first three million should have been enough.

Doesn't she know she's supposed to be outside taking pictures of me ?

I hope this doesn't turn out like last year when she made me write all her stupid spring flower posts for her. I made the mistake of complaining about having to write about pictures that didn't have me in them, so she picked a wet, yucky day to dump me out in the back yard for a photo shoot on the cold, soggy grass with her precious little purple flowers.

Can't a cat catch a break and go explore the backyard on a nice, warm, sunny spring day?

Sincerely, Guiness the Cat

***

Content (c) 2015 by Guiness the Cat. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved, and all that other stuff humans say.


Image Credit » (c) 2015 by Debbi Craton. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved

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Comments

wolfgirl569 wrote on March 19, 2015, 5:37 PM

Now Guiness you knew you would get caught sooner or later.

HappyLady wrote on March 19, 2015, 6:00 PM

My dear Guineas,
I agree that the only day for a photo shoot is a nice warm one, but these Jonquil things. Are they an animal and can you eat them? I have never seen one. I do have some crocuses.Love from Freya the Catblog Cat.

WordChazer wrote on March 19, 2015, 6:21 PM

Oh do shut up grumbling, Guin. Sometimes, your ego gets in the way of a good post, you know? Anyways, you can't have it all your own way, because that just makes you self-important, and no one likes a self important cat. Your Chief Tin Opener is fully entitled to have other interests than you, even though you don't always see it thus. Now do wipe that scowl off your face, or your CTO will be wondering if you're auditioning for Grumpy Cat II.

Last Edited: March 19, 2015, 6:23 PM

LindaCPearson wrote on March 19, 2015, 6:29 PM

Dearest Disappearing Guiness - On the jonquils - I would think 2-3 photos would be more than enough. Regarding Debbi's lack of attention sometimes - I discovered, hard as it was to believe at first, that humans sometimes do things that aren't totally focused on us. I know, it's crazy but it is true. Every now and then my mom does things that don't focus totally on me. At first it was hard to take but I've learned to handle it, as long as I get extra treats and behind-the-ear rubs when she finally comes to her senses and gets back to me. Your faithful gal, Mildred the Cat.

Feisty56 wrote on March 19, 2015, 8:29 PM

Your human is usually very reasonable, but I'll have to side with you in this one. Cats get spring fever, too.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 20, 2015, 12:53 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. I had planned on her taking another couple hundred pictures. That would have given me time to get back up the hill.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 20, 2015, 12:57 AM

Dear Freya the Catblog Cat,

Jonquils are my favorite flower. I always have to go the the jonquil patch and smell them. I have posted a picture on Facebook. I'll have to get some into some posts, too. All our crocuses have gone now, but I don't really care about them. Only jonquils.

Sincerely, Guiness the Cat

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 20, 2015, 1:10 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. But cats ARE self-important.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 20, 2015, 1:16 AM

Dear Mildred,



Let's make sure we're clear on this. I agree 2-3 photos of jonquils WITHOUT me in them is more than sufficient. We could use a couple hundred more with me as the focus, as I think quite a few have already turned out well, and if it worked before, it'll work again. I don't understand what's so fascinating to humans that they take their attention off us for a minute. Makes no sense to me. Laying the guilt trip on them for it usually reaps some pretty good treats, though. They're usually pretty conditioned to reach for the treat bag after.



Sincerely, Guiness the Cat

Last Edited: February 2, 2016, 2:39 AM

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 20, 2015, 1:18 AM

This is Guiness the Cat. Glad you finally came around to my side, Feisty. I'll send you a jonquil when I'm done snorting them.

msiduri wrote on March 20, 2015, 7:24 AM

I guess I just don't want Gremlin the cat to hear this. Right now, he's doing what cats do best and sawing logs.

agvulpes wrote on March 20, 2015, 8:10 AM

Well I read this post to Oliver (I hope you remember him) and he said to me that he 'thought it was about time you finally manned up and showed some balls' His words I swear so don't shoot the messenger OK Guiness !
Man I'm stuck in the middle hear :)

LindaCPearson wrote on March 20, 2015, 8:46 AM

Dear Guiness - Oh, I did mean a few jonquils WITHOUT you is tolerable, as long as the other thousands focus on you. Humans are difficult to understand sometimes but I've worked out a good thing with my mom - I always look adorable, when I want something I lay the leg rubs and head bumps on thick, and I come when called, if I feel like it. I hope you cheer up and have a better day today. Your faithful friend, Mildred the Cat.

trufflehunter wrote on March 20, 2015, 9:23 AM

Aww that's coz you're so talented and write very well, that's why your mum got you to write on her behalf!

wolfgirl569 wrote on March 20, 2015, 9:31 AM

But you should know that us moms are very unpredictable by now. emoticon :smile:

crowntower wrote on March 20, 2015, 3:07 PM

I guess I can read a greeny little jealousy there ... Heheheh I think no matter how big you are, you still want to be mommy's little baby and the most favorite one.. Lol! God bless. and have a great spring time!

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 20, 2015, 4:42 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. I'm sure you're speaking metaphorically because cats do NOT do manual labor.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 20, 2015, 4:44 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. Tell Oliver to man up and write his own comments.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 20, 2015, 4:47 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. So true.

msiduri wrote on March 20, 2015, 4:48 PM

Guiness, rest assured, I was speaking metaphorically. Gremlin was snoozing.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 20, 2015, 4:48 PM

This is Guiness the Cat. I am indeed her favorite. By far.

agvulpes wrote on March 23, 2015, 7:15 AM

Well Guiness I hope you understand just how aristocratic Toy Poodles are? Write on a 'blog' NO WAY!
They only dictate and I had to learn shortpaw :)