Someone Please Explain to Me Why Deer Need a Salad Fork, by Guiness the Cat
Hello, this is Guiness the Cat with an urgent question.
Why would a deer need a fork?
With the lovely spring weather we've been having since it abruptly quit being winter, Debbi and I have been doing a lot of photo sessions outside, especially around the jonquils. (I find those especially intriguing. Debbi doesn't know why.)
As you may have noticed, we have a vegetable-less vegetable garden out behind the jonquil patch. There are multiple reasons why we have a vegetable-less vegetable garden out behind the jonquil patch. One is Debbi is no good at growing vegetables. Another is she's, um, a bit under-motivated to maintain the proper amount of labor required in the care and raising of vegetables. (Yes, I'm calling her lazy.) And lastly, she has no intention of putting that much work and expense into feeding the deer, turkeys, rabbits, and squirrels things she intended to eat herself.
Having forsaken any hopes of filling her own pantry with pretty jars of pretty-colored vegetation, she turned the plot over to the critters. It's now sporting a nice deer mix of greens as a ground cover.
So we're out there strolling around, trying not to be swallowed whole by the soft-but-not-quite-mud-hole, exploring the return of greenery at our leisure when suddenly we spied it.
A fork.
Seriously. A fork. Laying right there among the salad fixin's.
Why do deer need a fork? We're still racking our brains for a logical explanation as to how it got there. How are we supposed to ponder the sudden unexplained appearance of a golf ball until we figure out the fork?
Sincerely, Guiness the Perplexed
***
Content (c) 2015 by Guiness the Cat. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved, and all that other stuff humans say.
TheGuinessBlog GuinessTheCat FOPP OldRoadsOnceTraveled
Image Credit » Photo (c) 2015 Debbi Craton. May not be used without permission. All rights reserved.
Comments
wolfgirl569 wrote on March 16, 2015, 10:50 PM
Sounds like the deer in your area have good manners. They do not eat with their hooves
1j2jworkz wrote on March 16, 2015, 11:01 PM
I think I discovered its cousin the spoon under the snow melt today ... It must have a story - the fluff
OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 17, 2015, 12:04 AM
This is Guiness the Cat. Well, at least they're polite.
OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 17, 2015, 12:06 AM
Dear Fluff,
The only snow shoveling my human will consent to do is with a spoon. But that is only as far as a pot to make snow ice cream in.
Sincerely, Guiness the Cat
allen0187 wrote on March 17, 2015, 12:37 AM
Clearly, deers have better table manners than cats, Guiness. It is a bitter pill to swallow but swallow it you must! LOL!
trufflehunter wrote on March 17, 2015, 1:29 AM
Hahaha, dear Guiness! I have no idea why your neighbourly deer would need a fork. Maybe to pick their teeth when they're done eating.
BarbRad wrote on March 17, 2015, 2:31 AM
If that were to happen at my house I'd assume the deer were going to use it to spear an apple higher than they can reach on my tree.
Hollyhocks100 wrote on March 17, 2015, 8:41 AM
I wish my favorite kitchen knife would turn up too. I lost that in the garden years ago and no amount of searching has yet revealed its whereabouts.
LindaCPearson wrote on March 17, 2015, 3:03 PM
Hi Guiness. It's Mildred your favorite feline friend. That fork is a mystery. I have two guesses how it got there. 1) It fell out of an airplance and landed in the deer patch. 2) Some creepy creep decided to have a picnic in your yard when you were sleeping and left the fork by accident. Both ideas are plausible. Another idea - a little far out - does Debbi hunt? Maybe she was trying to spear a deer for dinner since there aren't any vegetables?
WordChazer wrote on March 17, 2015, 6:02 PM
Deer need forks because otherwise they'd blunt their hooves digging up the lovelies you left them...
And by the way, when they run out of things to eat in your patch, do send them here? We have enough greenery here to keep a small herd active for some time. As long as they can tolerate frogs and brambles as well as inquisitive felines, that is.
OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 17, 2015, 10:33 PM
This is Guiness the Cat. Not so. Every so often I demand to eat out of a spoon. (And I get away with it.)
OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 17, 2015, 10:35 PM
This is Guiness the Cat. I use a toothbrush for that. (It wasn't my idea.)
OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 17, 2015, 10:39 PM
This is Guiness the Cat. That's probably not the case at my house because (1) the fork was nowhere near an apple tree, and (2) the squirrels would have already eaten them.
OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 17, 2015, 10:43 PM
This is Guiness the Cat. I haven't seen it by the jonquils.
OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 17, 2015, 10:46 PM
Dear Mildred,
1I hadn't considered the hunting idea. Debbi doesn't have a bow or arrows, so the fork idea is entirely plausible. Humans! Wouldn't she also need a steak knife?
Sincerely, Guiness your Handsome Prince.
OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on March 17, 2015, 10:48 PM
This is Guiness the Cat. You should ask the neighbor who's silly enough to try to grow vegetables for himself. He'll ship them postage paid. Expect turkeys, squirrels, rabbits, and crows to be shipped in separate boxes.
LindaCPearson wrote on March 18, 2015, 9:37 AM
Guiness - maybe Debbi didn't think it through. Sometimes humans jump into something without thinking it through or considering all the angles. As born hunters, we would know what to do. I assume I would know what to do, even though I've never been allowed outside to hunt. My mom doesn't even let me hunt lady bugs in the house. She removes them safely out of my reach. Have you questioned Debbi about this? If she hems and haws and can't offer a good explanation, I'd said she did it with a fork in the deer patch!
Love, your faithful, loyal gal, Mildred the Cat.