A wake up call
I had a horrible weekend for various reasons which I will no doubt go in to on another post at some point but it sparked my depression and insecurity in a massive way and I started pushing away the man I love.
I was actually horrible. I was snappy, difficult and didn't express any love at all. I pushed and pushed because I expected him to walk away and when he did appear distant I really started to panic. On Tuesday I was convinced it was over and even called a cab and went over to his house because I felt so scared and lost.
We did manage to talk and just being together helped but it has actually been a massive wake up call for me. I had my heart broken last year and ended up having a break down but the past is in the past. I need to leave it there or it is going to keep hurting me and hurting my future as well. I know I will have ups and downs with my mental illness but I have to try and not push Brad away because he will get fed up, and he will walk and I would be devastated!
Picture is my own.
Image Credit » My own