By in Personal

What Should I Do to Help My Sister?

My brother-in-law planned to divorce my sister. My sister resisted accepting this. My brother-in-law had fallen love with another lady. Although my sister knew this, she still refused to accept this situation.

They quarreled for many times. My brother-in-law then left. Now my sister stayed at their house alone. She didn’t go outside. She stayed at home, watching movies and surfing the internet. I could understand her grief, but I didn’t know what I should do to relieve her of grief. At around 12 o’clock yesterday afternoon, I made a phone call to her and asked what she was doing. She said she still stayed in the bed, and it seemed she still didn’t want to get up.

If she always lead her life like this, it’s not beneficial for her health. What should I do?

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cheri wrote on March 2, 2015, 8:16 AM

Maybe she needs time and space. Just keep on being with her in these tough moments

bestwriter wrote on March 2, 2015, 8:17 AM

Your sis-in-law is planning to divorce your sister. I am a bit confused. What kind of a relationship did they have.

Mommyjen wrote on March 2, 2015, 8:29 AM

Just be there for her and be a shoulder to cry on.

Kungfu123 wrote on March 2, 2015, 8:31 AM

My brother-in-law is my sistet's husband. sorry, I typed wrontly. bestwriter

Last Edited: March 2, 2015, 8:33 AM

Kungfu123 wrote on March 2, 2015, 8:34 AM

You see, I need to go to work every day. I don't have much time to accompany her.

bestwriter wrote on March 2, 2015, 8:49 AM

Its alright. There is very little anyone can do about a situation where a husband and wife are involved. Much of what goes on between them is not known to the outside world. Your sister will have to sort it out on her own. You have your life and that should go smoothly.

UK_Writer wrote on March 2, 2015, 9:14 AM

Take her to the Doctor, she's probably got some depression.

GemstonePink wrote on March 2, 2015, 10:35 AM

I think she is reacting normally to this event. Give her some time to get over this.

FreyaYuki wrote on March 2, 2015, 11:17 AM

Sorry to hear about this emoticon :sad: Just be there for your sister. Tell her you'll listen to her if she ever needs someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, etc. You can visit her sometimes too just to make sure she's okay. Do they have children? Her kids should be there for her too.

peachpurple wrote on March 2, 2015, 12:56 PM

I say, advise your sister to give up on him, why waste her time pinning hope for him to come back, regardless of her age, she can start a new life on her own. Man is not everything to a woman.

WordChazer wrote on March 2, 2015, 3:26 PM

Be there for your sister. When she telephones you, listen to her complaints and offer the usual assurances and responses. If she seems happier, perhaps you can enjoy a day together, shopping, or maybe watching a DVD and enjoying takeout food. My friend, who is like a sister to me, likes to spend some time at our house when she's stressed. She says that being away from her own place makes her feel less unhappy. We call it 'having a girlie weekend'. We eat junk food, go clothes shopping and drink wine.

It can't be easy - your brother-in-law has effectively said he no longer loves your sister. However, she is not in the wrong here. He is the one who is leaving. And she is grieving as if he had died, and probably blaming herself, wondering what she did wrong. For many divorced people this is how it goes. My own mother-in-law is divorced from my father-in-law. She cannot even stand the mention of his name. She takes comfort in the company of her brothers and sisters and chooses not to see so much of her son, who reminds her too much of her ex-husband.

lookatdesktop wrote on March 2, 2015, 10:41 PM

Give it time. These things are hard to just get over. Be loving and understanding and comfort her any way you can. Try to get her to go somewhere together to a change of scenery and maybe she will be able to forget her grief in good time.

Kungfu123 wrote on March 2, 2015, 11:32 PM

I don't think my sister suffer depression. She only needs time to restore from grief.

Kungfu123 wrote on March 2, 2015, 11:33 PM

I just a little worry about her.

Dawnwriter wrote on March 4, 2015, 2:28 AM

If he has left her permanently, then she needs to come to terms with it. Visit her with some food and offer comfort but such blows take time to heal. Are there any children?

allen0187 wrote on March 8, 2015, 7:38 PM

At this point, it is best to give your sister some 'alone time'. Do call her and inform her that you are there is she needs someone to talk to. Hope things pan out right for your sister.