By in Personal

A Crazy Little Thing Called LOVE

I still remember when I got in loved with this girl. Her dazzling eyes, tousled hair and her very attractive sweet angelic voice made her unique. She was very cute, queen-like, and the one and only majesty of my life.

It was the first day of our school way back 2012 then. I saw the girl who gave my life full. I was the outcast and I do not have the fame to be recognized by her. And there the destiny started when we we had a battle for rubics cube.

In a kidding side, I could not imagine how I won the said contest. It was like I wasn’t in my control that I couldn’t even think the right thing to do. But then, love met us up.

Her beguiling smile touched my heart. I couldn’t breathe when she was coming near to me. My world figuratively stopped when she was cheering me up then. And with happiness to have had a talk with her. It all changed my life until I was in third year high school.

During our summer vacation, my secret love to her went to public. Because of such a dare with one of my classmates, I confessed my feelings to her and I was surprised that she already knew it. From close friendship, we came to TOO much close friendship. We always talked over the phone and it was the thing that made our feelings mutual.

Love is such a challenging thing that we must choose whether it will be a motivation or an obstruction. But in my case, I was motivated and inspired. I decided to court her with no bones. Sad to say, there was a struggle……

It’s true that there is NO perfect whether it is a thing or relationship. This is something that we should work for. Because if you do not strive hard for it, chances are so small that relationship may fail.

Of course, we had so much quarrel that we encountered then. There were times that we both went out of the joint and we felt jealous to someone or something. Because of one person, it broke us apart even our hearts!

Too much love will kill you, indeed. You must take care of your feelings and your partners. Do not have confusions to someone and trust him or her! For just a single second, you may be left hanging and broken hearted!

I’ve realized that life is indeed full of contradictions. Sometimes it’s crazy to be sane. You need to fall to fly. You need to unlearn things to know the lessons. You need to give up because you are strong. You need to be wrong to make things right. Nonetheless, life’s complexities are also life’s sources of beauty. We should cry to laugh again, fall apart to be whole again and get hurt to love again.

After some times, we quarreled and didn’t fix our struggles. Jealousy broke our sweet complicated understanding. “I did my best, but my best was not good enough.” I was literally insane and too stupid to let someone go because of being out of the joint to person. I do not know how and why I have done my decision then. It was my life’s day of reckoning- thinking about things like I want to die now!

The London Bridge fell down and my heart stopped from beating her name from Jolly to LONELY! The Eiffel Tower of my world is being wrecked by envy and jealousy. No one knows how to explain my feelings. Even you set me to a Lie Detector Test- I knew that I hid my TRUE feelings and made a white lie! After all, I could not move on! I don’t know when, where and how to start again my life. The creator has taken away my world from me. Sad to say, the sun couldn’t rise nor set because of its heartaches.

Love is complicated that we must be the one to make little adjustments. Even though I still love her, I decided not to confess it to her. Many of my classmates told me to continue what I had started but I chose to set her free. It’s not my pride nor egotism but it is my self-respect to her to pick someone who can make her happier. Yeah, maybe you are right, that I am WEAK and SCRAWNY but that’s how my love works.

“Let me be the one to break it up so you won’t have to make excuses.” I had ended our communications and deleted her messages from my phone. I thought these will be helpful for me to forget her but it doesn’t work! I’m still missing her and I still love her. Until now, I cannot even break the stones of hope. I cannot move on (damn!).

That was the finale of you, yes it was an abstract of hue. No one knows why, it is a secret of mine. Never mind it unless you care and come back again. My heart is so true but full of heartaches, pain and grief. Finally, another light shines upon the darkness of sorrow. Chances are In me to say that I still love her, yes you are right, I still love her!

I hope that this series article may have the chance to go back again with her. Moving on thoroughly is so hard! The shadow of the painful love story, that’s how our love story ends. Yes, I’m a great PRETENDER- pretending to be okay and happy, of course it’s harder. “We just have to say our love was true but has now become a lie. So I’m telling you I LOVE YOU one last time and GOODBYE!”


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Comments

crowntower wrote on February 25, 2015, 2:28 AM

That is a total cowardice and maybe you don't love her as you can't overcome yourself.
Relationship should be clear, and when you settle things up all the pride should swallow in full none of it should be left so you can show the truth in your heart.
What a simple post can do if she was not aware of it? And no matter how true you are with your feelings for her... still you don't love her equal to yourself because yo just let her go with a broken heart and with all the lies that you've shown her. :P

Coffee wrote on February 25, 2015, 3:50 AM

It is always so sad when a love ends, and it really does sound like you loved this girl.

FreedomWriter wrote on February 26, 2015, 1:08 AM

Maybe I was not a coward? lol I just set her free for many reasons.. I could not even move on but I looked at her now and she has moved on. Who is the whore between us? lol
But I still love her, no matter how it is, I could not rewind my life. It happened already; what I can do now is to regret all the things I had.|
anyway, thank you for the comment and a kidding side :) hehe
looking forward to you. God Speed my friend~

FreedomWriter wrote on February 26, 2015, 1:11 AM

"I loved this girl" but I cannot deny the fact that I still love her. But these are the consequences of what I've done. This is a game; and whoever loses it, He must accept the results. Now, I am the loser. I was once her King, but now I am her slave. Begging for her love again. Anyway, thank you for the comment. :) Looking forward to you. God Speed~

cheri wrote on March 1, 2015, 8:02 AM

Love does not always have a happy ending. There are reasons why love prosper while others are a disaster.