By in Personal

Today Did Not Go As Planned

This was one of those days when I really didn't want to do anything. I still ache from my first day back in the garden on Monday. It was the perfect day to curl up in my warm jammies and robe and spend the day in the chair, wrapped in a blanket, with an escape novel. But I tried to focus on getting some work done and began my duty to my computer.

I ate an early dinner of leftovers while listening to our community members call in on talk radio, and that made me really depressed. I am sick of the way the people who have come here from the cities want to destroy the rural character of our county, force us off our land by taking our water rights away, and pack us into the city. Then our local military expert, now retired but still on top of things, told us what a sorry state our military is in and what will happen if thing don't change. Not what I wanted to hear, either. Why can't people just leave other people in peace, as long as they aren't hurting anyone?

After lunch I went back to the computer and continued to stress over who I would pick as my tsu Friday Friend this week, and after reviewing a lot of profiles, including my own, made my choice, wrote it up, and posted it. It was time to take a walk, but I really didn't feel like it. I didn't feel like what happened on that walk, either.

I imagine you've heard of divine appointments – those occasions that seemed ordained by God to put people where they need to be at the right time to meet just the person they need to help them out of a jam or open the door to an opportunity. I'm sure you may have heard people who had been in tough spots say they prayed for help and God heard them and help came. These stories warm the heart. Unless you are the divine appointment or the answer to the prayer when you don't want to do anything.

These divine appointments involve more than one person Usually one is very happy with what happened – the one who got the answer to prayer. The one who is the answer isn't always joyful, but sometimes just reluctantly obedient.

I am a sinner saved by grace, but still very much a sinner. I did not leave for my walk today singing "Make Me A Blessing." To tell the truth, I was simply hoping to get the walk over with and take a shorter one than usual. I was a block away when I saw them. (The photo foreground shows the approximate place they were when we met. My house is the one across the street from the large oak that is facing towards this spot.) The two women before me were known to me, and not people I especially wanted to see. They don't live near me here. In fact, they were not where they usually are found.

One has been crippled since childhood and always travels in a large motorized cart with baskets and a roof. Sort of like a golf cart, but for use by those who can't walk. I most often see her at city park or on the roads around town. (I'll call her J.) I've never seen her in my neighborhood before. She is often accompanied by another woman who lives with her as her assistant. (I'll call her A). A is the widowed sister of our friend who died last year. A had been living on his property until our friend's wife insisted she move. She's not an easy person to have around.

She has a good heart, but she is a bit autistic and she's also getting older and less capable mentally than she used to be. She has no money to speak of, and I imagine she gets most of her support from J, as well as a place to live. She may also get some sort of public assistance, but I don't know. My husband usually deals with her and gives her work when he can, but that is mostly to help her out, and he often has to put energy into finding jobs she can do without too much supervision.

About a month ago something broke on her car, so we let her borrow our truck. Then something on our truck broke and we had to take it back from her to get it fixed. Her car was reparied by then and Hubby took her to get it back. Then she helped him bring his truck back from the shop after it was repaired. This was still when I couldn't drive yet. Last week her car broke again. I don't remember the problem, but the cost to fix it is $700. She doesn't have the money.

She has one brother still living in this area, but he doesn't see her as his responsibility. It was our friend who looked out for her. We don't have the money to fix her car, either. I know my husband was with her yesterday to talk to the mechanic and try to see what, if anything, could be done. But today she is without a car until a solution can be found.

So when I ran into the ladies today, J was in her little electric car and A was walking beside her carrying a bag. My first impulse was to want to cut my walk short before meeting them, but I knew that wasn't right. So I continued to walk toward them until we met. I opened with “You ladies are out of your usual territories today, aren't you?” They had evidentally been to the grocery store a few blocks away and were starting to return to J's home. I asked A if she walks beside J on the way home. A said she normally takes the bus, but was not looking forward to carrying the two heavy grocery bags the six blocks to the bus stop and then home from the bus stop.

You know where this is going probably. And so did I. My inner self didn't like where this was leading. All I wanted to do was go home and rest. But I knew I had to listen to the Spirit, not my weary flesh. I knew it would be extremely wicked of me to not offer her a ride home. So I offered her a ride home. I figured if I had to go out that far anyway, past the grocery store, I might as well stop and get a few things. I had been resisting shopping all day, too. I just didn't feel good, and still don't. If I'd known my husband would be so late getting home tonight, I'd be in my chair with a book right now. But if I start a book now I know I'll just get started and he'll get home and want to watch TV.

So now you all know what a wicked one I am. I wish I had been really happy to have had a chance to help A istead of doing it reluctantly. I am thankful I was able to help and did do what I knew was right, but I wish my attitude had been better. I've sure got a lot of spiritual growing to do. I hope A's car is operable again soon. She probably hates being so dependent on others.

Image Credit » I took the photo.

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Kungfu123 wrote on February 21, 2015, 12:13 AM

At least you have helped her.

OldRoadsOnceTraveled wrote on February 21, 2015, 1:02 AM

I've ended up in situations like that before. Doing what is right/what you ought to do isn't always what you'd prefer to do, but you do it anyway.

BarbRad wrote on February 21, 2015, 2:19 AM

I really could not have lived with myself had I not helped her. I tried to put myself in her shoes and think how I would feel in her place.

BarbRad wrote on February 21, 2015, 2:21 AM

Exactly. Showing love is rarely convenient. It is a response to a need that should be met if it's within our power.

ChickJ wrote on February 21, 2015, 4:00 PM

No matter what you thought, your actions told the true story.

DarkSinistar wrote on February 22, 2015, 1:13 AM

If there were more "wicked ones" like you, the world would be a better place. Even if it were a bit more inconvenient LOL.

BarbRad wrote on February 22, 2015, 4:14 PM

I like to think so.

BarbRad wrote on February 22, 2015, 4:18 PM

I wrestled with it. But in the end I knew that I really knew it was in my power to do good, and withholding that good would be a sin of omission. The Scriptures clearly say that we are not to withhold good when it is in our power to do it. There is not much i can do about most harm and injustice in the world. But there was something I could do to alleviate some suffering for one person here. It would have been wrong not to do it. What bothers me is that I even thought about not doing it.

BarbRad wrote on February 22, 2015, 4:19 PM

I'm sure many have come to my rescue when it wasn't convenient.