By in Writing

A heartbreak has never been this bitter.

I used to smile with my heart and from my core when I heard your name; I used to abhor being far away from you, for even a second. However now, I get filled up with anger, disgust and resentment every time I pass through something that reminds me of you. Anything that resembles your existence pierces my veins and it feels like an artery bursts and I’m left a blood-spattered mess. A bloody mess, not because you still mean anything to me but because I wish you had never meant anything to me at all. I now know how and what it’s like...when what once was love turns into revulsion! I won’t give you the satisfaction of thinking that you created some sort of monster in me because the truth of the matter is I never needed you in my life, I had to force myself to get you into my heart, this is why the love I once felt for you has now been replaced by loathe and I don’t mean in its simplest form!

I do however sit and wonder why I allowed all this to happen, why I even wasted my time! The more I think about it, the more I’m certain that you actually truly tore the humanly part out of me, so much so that I see nothing when I look your way. I can’t even feel pity for you, it appears to be way more than you deserve! You don’t feature in my heart anymore. Peace doesn’t live here; it disappeared with my heart and soul! When what once was so beautiful turns to an unsightly blur, when love no longer exists and there is nothing. When what was once was love turns into loathe!

A heartbreak has never been this bitter.

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LeaPea2417 wrote on February 4, 2015, 1:00 PM

I have never had a heartbreak like you describe with a significant other, but I have had a break down of a relationship with a relative that is so sad because we used to have a good relationship which now can never be good again..

elles-belles wrote on February 4, 2015, 4:29 PM

I am glad that you have never experienced such a heartbreak with a significant other, I wouldn't wish it on anyone really! As for the broken relationship between a relative and yourself, I am sorry that you feel that it can never be good again but if I may... I would suggest that you don't give up that easily. Sometimes when we are hurting and especially if we got hurt by someone we really loved, it takes that much longer for healing to happen. I say give it a bit more time and the next time you see your relative, make the effort to go over and talk to her! This opinion is obviously purely based on assumptions, I don't know the nature of the break down so with that in mind consider my suggestion!