The Importance of Investing in Your Relationship
One thing I have learned from personal experience and time is the importance of investing in your relationship. Starting a relationship with someone should come natural and easy.
One should feel relaxed, excited, nervous, and happy all at the same time while feeling comfortable with just being you. If you're worried about what he will think of what you wear or how you eat your food than that's a clear sign while both may feel an attraction to one another it might not be the match for you.
I'd hate to say it but that old saying two becoming one is wrong. You don't have to give up who you are or what you do for the right person. As we fall in love we should nurture the respect we have for our partner and be supportive in their discussions and goals throughout life.
One should not have to give up time with friends or stop doing something we like to do. If he enjoys going to the gym, let him have his gym time. It's the perfect time for you to see a friend or take that relaxing soak.
Each person should have their independence, goals and ideas. You should be able to share these with each other without being told you're wrong, you can't do it or suffer negative side effects like low self-esteem.
There is a big difference between loving someone and controlling one's life. It's importance to find a balance between doing things together and doing things independently. It is within that balance that love grows and so do you as a person, for there are two individuals in any relationship.
How you communicate with each other is also a clear sign of whether the relationship is a healthy one. If all you do is argue you'll end up being miserable. When two people can discuss a given topic without raised voices or demands it's a clear sign of a good match. You want to be able to confide in each other, ask advice and be open and honest.
Sometimes there are hard decisions that need to be made. Ask yourself are you making that choice for your own good or for others. In any relationship the decision should rest on the needs of the person any given situation affects the most.
Example: Say one of you gets a job offer far away. While the decision does affect you it affects the person who received the offer most and therefore you should put their needs, desires, hopes and dreams over your own thoughts of self. While it will be painful to be a part you need to decide how much you love that person. You want them happy, you want them to succeed in life so the question is do you love them enough to support their goals?
This would be a hard question for anyone. And a decision which can make or break a relationship but I use this question as an example of what it means to invest in a relationship by putting the needs and desires of others before self.
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