By in Personal

Why Do People Put Up With Being Treatd Like Crap

I have worked for many bully bosses. People ask me " Why do you put up with that? ". Many other people have come and gone in the times that I stayed with mean bosses. Not that I always stay, I have quit jobs too when the mean boss just adds that one straw too many.

There are always some people who put up with crap from their bosses, or from other people in their lives. Why? Why do some people put up with crap while others leave? Is it low self-esteem? We are always told that people who put up with crap have low self esteem but I do not think this is the case. While I do not have inflated self esteem it is not rock bottom either.

The reason I put up with crap is because somehow I still benefit.

At my current job I have been treated badly, lied too, taken advantage of, and so forth, but if I leave I am jobless, so how is that to my benefit? I would have to find work else where and I am smart enough to know that is not easy where I live, I would have to drive at least 20 minutes more, to find a job in another community (I live rurally). So for me the fact that I am treated badly is not as bad as if I would have to spend another 40 minutes in the car every day.

I have been bullied as a kid, but for me I would rather have been bullied than have been the bully. I was never mean to anyone and that means more to me than anything else.

So I can endure a mean boss, ya sure it hurts, but I can take it, I am strong and there is a benefit to me to stay. If the cons outweigh the pros I will leave.

What I am saying is that some people stay and put up with crap because events earlier in their life may have made them tougher, and may have also allowed them to realize that some bad things are not as bad as others so as long as there is a benefit its worth it to put up with crap.

Image Credit » Image by author, Brenda Nelson

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valmnz wrote on January 30, 2015, 11:54 PM

I have been so fortunate to have had some very inspiring, supportive bosses in my teaching career. When my time came I hope I too was one of those.

ConstantDementia wrote on January 31, 2015, 12:40 AM

I have grown up around bullies as well but nowadays I cannot stand bullies. I only stand bully bosses because I may not have a better alternative.

snerfu wrote on January 31, 2015, 1:29 AM

It is a question of perspective. Unless one has an attitude, one does not argue.

OnlyErin6 wrote on January 31, 2015, 1:42 AM

Almost all of my bosses were less than stellar. Unfortunately, I'm the flighty type. I would have been better off if I had put up with some of them longer.

AliCanary wrote on January 31, 2015, 1:47 AM

Many people continue to put up with crap-- I mean, look at all the people who are still writing for Bubblews! Snark aside, I really wish you had a nicer boss. I don't understand why people can't just treat each other better. Why is it so hard?

Hollyhocks100 wrote on January 31, 2015, 5:28 AM

I once stayed for far too many years working for a bully boss, in the end I had a breakdown. The benefits just aren´t worth that and I would never stick at a job like that again.

peachpurple wrote on January 31, 2015, 1:51 PM

some had to put up with customers crap, bosses just for the sake of money, salary

BrenndaMarie wrote on January 31, 2015, 2:38 PM

Most people do it because they need their jobs are afraid of being fired. It is hard to find a new job these days.

LeaPea2417 wrote on January 31, 2015, 4:34 PM

My husband had to quit a job that was 10 minutes away from our house or risk going insane by a slave driver. He ended up taking a job at a company 30 minutes away from home. And even though he is driving 30 minutes to work each way,, he is much more happy and less stressed.

BarbRad wrote on January 31, 2015, 8:30 PM

I think each of us has to know his limits and stay within them. I do think, though, that my generation has great tolerance than the current generation for tolerating mistreatment. People are now taught in schools that they don't need to put up with bullying and less than idea conditions and may be more likely to quit when unhappy. I grew up hearing from my dad, who went through the depression, that one should take any job just to be working and do one's best.