By in Random

Don't Worry About Me!

My cousin passed away this week. I was speaking to his brother today and the words I heard from his lips came from my own heart five years ago when I lost my younger sister. It is not natural for us to lose a sibling that is younger than we are. The pain is explainable . Our minds cannot absorb the shock and our hearts scream, NO!

When I was going through those early days, I cried constantly. I could not sleep and when I did I did not rest. Though it is illogical, one night I was just crumbling and I looked up and screamed into the darkness, "Come back!" When I finally fell into a restless sleep, I dreamed of my sister. She was not sick. She was healthy and beautiful. Her hair was full and long as it was when she was at her best. Her skin was clear and her eyes bright. She smiled and said, "please don't worry about me. I am so happy! I will see you soon and you will understand. I am okay. I love you, please don't worry about me." I woke up and felt peace. For the first time I saw that I was mourning her but grieving me. I was grieving the life I did not want to lose. A life where she was there every day.

I shared this dream with my cousin. I told him to grieve for a little while. But know what he is grieving. I told him to remind himself that his brother is no longer sick, or in pain and he will see him again.

(hey Tommy..if you catch this note, stop in an see my little sister and tell her, I'm doing okay don't worry about me either)

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valmnz wrote on January 30, 2015, 5:27 PM

My husband lost his only two brothers, one younger, one older, within a short period. Fow a while his grieving was such I thought he was willing himself to be with them. Thankfully he has passed through that now. I hope your writing here helps someone who needs it to understand.

LeaPea2417 wrote on January 30, 2015, 5:37 PM

My sister in law is dying of cancer and given only a few months to live. It just doesn't seem possible. She is only 58.

Magnolia wrote on January 30, 2015, 5:41 PM

I am sorry. I know how he feels. I have lost a brother a sister and both my parents. @ LeaPea2417..the funeral for my cousin is Tuesday. He was 57 and died of cancer too. It is shocking

msiduri wrote on January 30, 2015, 9:42 PM

LeaPea2417 I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I wish you and your family the best. valmnz That must have been rough on your husband. Glad he's accepted things and has decided to stick around for a while.

DWDavisRSL wrote on January 30, 2015, 9:48 PM

My sincere condolences on the loss of your cousin. I hope his brother can find some comfort in your experience with the loss of your sister and how you came through it.

valmnz wrote on January 30, 2015, 9:54 PM

thank you, so am I emoticon :smile:

msiduri wrote on January 31, 2015, 9:19 AM

Magnolia My best to you and yours. It sounds like you are at peace.

kat123456 wrote on January 31, 2015, 3:53 PM

It must be such a tough thing to deal with and thoughts are with you and your family

MommyCharm wrote on January 31, 2015, 10:02 PM

Im sorry to hear about your loss but don't worry, your cousin is in a much better and happier place now.

cheri wrote on February 2, 2015, 1:18 AM

Sorry to hear about those losses. I had my own share too when I lost both of my parents, my brother-in-law and my nephew/

KSmith84 wrote on February 2, 2015, 7:35 AM

WOW! That's really hectic. I lost my mom when I was 17 and whenever I dream about her she looks super healthy and her appearance even seems to evolve and change as though she were alive. I often get the "I'm okay" message too. Maybe this is how our loved ones communicate with us.