By in Relationships

People can be so strange sometimes!

Reading & quickchai 's post this morning, I realized that though we may live in different countries, some things are universal and one of those things is the relationship between daughter-in-law and her mum-in-law.

No matter how long a girl has been married and no matter how integral we are to their son's life, mum-in-law always has strong feelings about the place the daughter-in-law has in the family and that place is usually on the bottom rung of the ladder (family in this case)

It really is a thorny relationship no matter how much we try and I guess,. the other party also feels the same way.

(I changed the content of this post because it was written in heat of the moment and I later had second thoughts. We can never know how a person feels unless we walk in their shoes so I am changing the post. If some comments below seem out of context or irrelevant, it is my fault entirely).

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cheri wrote on January 22, 2015, 6:35 AM

People do a lot of complicated things. Sometimes we just ahve to accept that.

bestwriter wrote on January 22, 2015, 6:53 AM

Now that you know about it take the cudgels in your hand and create an atmosphere in which you are comfortable. These are petty issues.

Kat- wrote on January 22, 2015, 7:30 AM

Sounds like someone has some deeper issues there, there's obviously more to it than just you guys using the room all of a sudden.

arthurchappell wrote on January 22, 2015, 8:26 AM

sounds like a sensitive area - families can be minefields - take care - hope everything smooths out

Dawnwriter wrote on January 22, 2015, 10:12 AM

Thanks . It was just a very petty issue after all.

Kasman wrote on January 22, 2015, 2:30 PM

I'm sensing a little friction in your relationship with your MIL. Take a deep breath and let it wash over you. He may be her son but that was an accident of birth. He chose you! emoticon :smile:

LeaPea2417 wrote on January 22, 2015, 7:26 PM

It is a long story, but I am an exception, I guess, because I have never had a relationship with my mother in law and she is still alive and age 82.

WordChazer wrote on January 23, 2015, 5:47 AM

My mum-in-law definitely considers I am persona non grata. Someone called her m-i-l the Monster in Law and at least at the moment, this appears to be the role she is fulfilling. Unfortunately. Talking to her didn't work - she wasn't listening.

Maplewinter wrote on January 23, 2015, 7:56 AM

I know that there is always going to be the in-law issue with some cases but I got along better with my mother in law than I did my own mum. That was until my relationship with her son had a little glitch and her son walked out on me. We were only apart a week to give us both some thinking space really but after that she was very cautious with me and our relationship was never the same. Saying that though I did give up everything to care for her when she was dying with cancer all because I didn't want her to be alone when she did pass.

VinceSummers wrote on January 23, 2015, 8:18 AM

I love this. Hoot mahn! Yer a man after me on heart.

shaggin83 wrote on January 23, 2015, 3:49 PM

My late husband's mother died when he was 10 so I never got to meet her. I don't really know what its like to have a true mother in law relationship. I didn't have to deal with her disliking me but I also didn't get to know if I would have had a close relationship with her or not. My father in law did get remarried a few years back so I have a step mother in law. I get along with her pretty well now. Years ago that was not the case. Same as with my father in law though too.

scheng1 wrote on January 23, 2015, 11:42 PM

I think we have to look into the mindset of the mothers-in-law. They probably think that they are useless and powerless after their sons get married, so they exert their "power" over their daughters-in-law.