By in Parenting

Was I wrong to discipline him?

My sister has two children, a boy and a girl. Stephen is 3 and Jessica is 18months old. They are pretty much very good children, but Stephen can be naughty sometimes. I was visiting on Sunday and Stephen starting throwing toys across the room. My sister has always made it clear that she doesn't really tell the children off, which I really don't understand.

How are they ever going to understand what is right and wrong if they do not discipline them? My sister does not make it clear that she is telling them off, she does not speak to them firmly so they understand. When he carried on throwing things round the living room, I told him quite firmly, then got on my knees, held him and told him in no uncertain terms he was being naughty. He took no notice whatsover and in fact started laughing. He did it again and actually threw something which hit my partner in the face!

It worries me that if he is not disciplined properly then he will become worse as he gets older. I am sure that she will tell me off for telling them off, but I can not stand by and watch them be naughty and they do not know that it is not acceptable behaviour

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OnlyErin6 wrote on January 21, 2015, 5:55 PM

THIS is why children are horrible. People are afraid to discipline them. It makes me nauseated. My cousin used to date a girl with a 6 year old child that was a little Satan spawn. She threw a fire cracker at my uncle once on the 4th and her mother didn't say a word. After that she threatened to hit me with a boat paddle. I was so angry at that point that I told her I was going to strap her new doll to a roman candle and see how she liked it when it exploded. She threw a tantrum over that too. Her mother didn't say a word. You're absolutely not wrong. If anything, children are happier that you did discipline them when they were young. It shows you cared enough not to let them act like heathens and make fools of themselves. If you're watching your sister's kids it's your rules.

ElfenLied21 wrote on January 21, 2015, 6:02 PM

Sounds like she will have her handful without disciplining her kids now. You were definitely not wrong to discipline him. It drives me nuts when parents want to be friends with their kid and not you know...a parent. I would rather be a respected parent who is seen as the occasional bad guy than the friend that will be used as a doormat.

Kat- wrote on January 21, 2015, 6:05 PM

If your sister doesn't nip this in the bud now, it going to be a huge problem when he starts school.

lionpaw wrote on January 21, 2015, 7:25 PM

I am going to echo what Effen said. I'd rather correct my kids so they can be respectful kids. I'm their mom first, friend second. I however am not sure I'd correct someone elses kids for them being unruly in their own home.

Now, when the kid hot/tossed something at me, my kids, or spouse, I would correct them then. Then if they had issues with it, I probably wouldn't visit very often. Is there any medical reason for the behavior?

Soonerdad3 wrote on January 21, 2015, 11:47 PM

It is definitely a slippery slope when it comes to disciplining another persons child even if they are a relatives child.

Soonerdad3 wrote on January 21, 2015, 11:49 PM

You are definitely right Kat- , however, it has to be the parents decision to do the disciplining.

bestwriter wrote on January 22, 2015, 1:45 AM

The best would have been for you to leave and then it would have sunk in your sister's head what it means when her child misbehaves. I had an experience lately. This couple with their 2 kids were holidaying here and were staying in a room in a hotel. They had dinner with us and wanted us to have lunch with them the next day. When we landed we got a cold welcome specially from the mother as she was busy talking to her daughter a four and a half year old. I found it funny and got up to go which led to some kind of justification why she behaved the way she did. Aparently her daughter was asking some questions and how could she have just asked her to come back later with her questions.
I can see a selfish daughter being groomed up.

peachpurple wrote on January 22, 2015, 11:11 AM

kis get lose and don't behave well because parents are the ones who are lenient. You are right and if your sister scolded you, she is in the wrong.