By in Movies & TV

Star Wars: The Bare Truth

I am a big fan of the Star Wars movies. Let me clarify. I love the first trilogy. The prequels are just bad, save for the Sith in those movies. And, of course, Senator Palpatine before the big reveal.

All this said, there are some series problems with the movies themselves.

1. In Episode IV (Or as I call it, Episode 1) , we learn about the precise shooting of the Imperial Stormtroopers. These are the same precise shooters who didn't even wing two droids shuffling across a five feet wide hallway while in a mad firefight against the rebels forces on the ship.

Throughout the series, prequels included, the Stormstroopers couldn't poor water out of a bottle if the instructions were on the bottom.

2. The swordplay of the Jedi and Sith is worthy of the infamous Star Wars Kid video. It's so childish, but Darth Vader can't see around or likely through his own helmet. And Obi-Wan Kenobi has had about ten minutes in stance and parry.

3. This is interesting. Throughout Episodes 4,5, and 6, Princess Leia only wears a bra when she is a slave to Jabba the Hut.

4. In the Hoth evacuation in Episode V, the Imperial Star Destroyers are set upon the rebels. After Han Solo and company escape, they fly through three of these Destroyers. Problem is the Destroyers obviously don't have radar, but can perform intergalactic travel. They crash into one another. How is this possible? Oh, wait. Imperial pilots, Imperial Stormtroopers. That makes sense.

5. While building the new, bigger, better Death Star, there obviously were more than Imperial forces building it. This had to be due Imperial forces wiped out on the first Death Star that was blown up by a teenage farmboy .

So all those contractors, tradesmen were blown up by the Rebels. Honest working people died doing their jobs. Way to go rebels!

Yes, that argument was in the movie, Clerks . It's spot on, too.

Image Credit » Image is mine.

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allen0187 wrote on February 12, 2015, 8:44 PM

I'm a big Star Wars fan myself and let me just say in my best James Earl Jones' voice, 'Your lack of faith is disturbing!'.