By in Humor

The Man Code As It Applies To Urinals. A Reminder For Those Who Need It.

Yes, that picture is a real sign in my office's bathrooms. Why? I work among savages. So, with this in mind I feel a primer is needed for a few folks I work among.

Men have unwritten rules as it applies to a wide variety of encounters, situations, places, things, and people. This post will focus on the Man Code as it applies to behavior at the urinals. Most men will understand immediately, the remaining ones are the ones slacking on their education. Their father figures never instructed them in proper adherence to the Man Code or its updates as required.

Urinal Rule 1

Do not talk to other men at the urinal unless you arrived at the urinal with your fellow known male. Otherwise this is a serious breach of etiquette. If at all possible, cease all talking once you arrive in a public bathroom. It's only polite. Some folks require silence to void their bladder or bowels. You folks yammering on does not help matters.

Urinal Rule 2

If you happen to walk in while your friend or associate is urinating at the urinal, DO NOT pat him on the shoulder or rub his shoulders. This is a felony breach of etiquette and may be cause for the sudden turn pants/shoes urination. And no one wants it to come that.

Urinal Rule 3

When you enter the urinal and there are more than two urinals, take a urinal furthest away from the other fellow. If there is room to space out, do it. But if you are forced to use the one next to someone else, then fine. That brings us to Rule .

Urinal Rule 4

After you finish urinating, shake it off, and place it back in your pants. The, turn the opposite way of your neighbor so as to not risk a collision in your haste to get to the sink and out the door. It also is just polite to keep as much distance from others where bodily fluids are ejected at sometimes fast and furious speeds.

Urinal Rule 5

This is one I have a problem with as I am long-legged. When you approach the urinal and take your urinating stance, make sure you do not enter the stance area of the urinals around you. Always look down and make sure your neighbor won't foot tap you. Same as an airplane seat, mind your borders.

I hope this was a good reminder for the folks who need it. For those who honor the Man Code, please teach your +Sons well, so that they will grow up and pass the Man Code on to other men. Man Code, now. Man Code, forever!

Image Credit » Image is mine.

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VinceSummers wrote on January 14, 2015, 4:39 PM

Yes, there was this overwhelming need for publication of rules of use of the men's room. Right. But saying that, a fairly good coverage of the rules and regulations. Death to offenders...

MegL wrote on January 14, 2015, 7:00 PM

I am totally amazed. It certainly beats the sign over the public drinking fountain in the university asking users not to pour hot soup down it.

houserulesradio wrote on January 14, 2015, 7:12 PM

Both genders are nasty in their own bathroom way, but Urinal Protocol is a real thing in the Men's Room.

angelaterese13 wrote on January 14, 2015, 9:08 PM

I will leave this up to the husband to do for my sons. I think we'll probably just talk about other things. Like laundry. Or the weather. Or anything else....

houserulesradio wrote on January 14, 2015, 9:37 PM

"Don't swing it or you may fling it!"

MegL wrote on January 15, 2015, 2:20 AM

Yes, one male colleague commented to me one time that the boss NEVER used the urinals but always used the cubicle that was available.

allen0187 wrote on February 12, 2015, 8:41 PM

Man Code - check.

Urinals - check.

Funny toilet sign - check.

My day is now done and complete. Thank you for this post man!