Walking away is not easy but it's the only option for me.
I have trouble walking away from projects and other things when I commit to them. It takes me a while to commit and, during that time, I can easily walk away and not think twice. but once I find myself committed to something, I stick with it even if it stresses me or I am no longer happy doing whatever it is.
This is the case with websites I write for. I never truly committed here because I was only here a short time. I wrote a bit and did see and talk to really nice people. I was starting to feel... committed . I think that is partially why I stepped back. I got totally consumed with Tsu and still am but that shine is starting to dull. Will I walk away? Nope. Because I don't even if it is better for me to.
And of curse we have the "Big B". I have been there for ages. Way back to when the site was a monstrosity of circles ... I mean BUBBLES and it looked like a 4th grader coded it. Although I had many issues, did not get 11 redemptions, was lied to over and over again, and started to feel pressured to be there more and more, I stayed. When the rates changed, I wasn't thrilled but knew that was coming. After all, I have been working online for many, many years. I knew what was going out was NOT coming in. I am surprised at how long they managed to pay most of the members the inflated amounts. I stayed even though I couldn't see my views and my old posts were gone. I couldn't fnd them anywhere. Google doesn't bring them up. I took the big monetary hit and kept writing, reading, liking and commenting.
I started to feel like it was becoming a job though. There were and are some people who I absolutely look forward to reading. Their lives, their writing styles, something keeps me coming back to read whatever they write. But there were a lot of people I read because I was being polite and that is how the site works . I saw my posts lost in oblivion, never reaching the front page. Forget about ever being featured. I saw many friends leave the site.
I was even going to put more effort into writing there once the holidays were over. Until tonight when it was announced that they took money from our redemptions. Maybe it was the way it was relayed and who relayed the message. Maybe it was that they just blatantly stole money that I worked really hard to earn. Maybe it was that they cut off comments after 11, the 11th one being mine. I knew it was time. I finally knew what I had to do.
I talked to my husband about it because he is the voice of reason. I didn't want my emotions to rule my decision. He immediately told me to go elsewhere and not look back. He even suggested that we talk to our lawyer because I am owed $600+ from last year and have proof that I was promised I would get it from the owner of the site. A kid only a year older than my youngest son. And I believed him. Shame on me.
Now that I decided to take my posts down and leave, I feel... bittersweet. I will miss the people I interacted with a lot. I will probably still read what they write. But I can't write there anymore. I don't care about the money. I don't write at these sites as a job or for a lot of income. I write because I love to write and the little extra is nice. All I ever wanted was communication. I said that years ago when I was getting lied to about my missing redemptions. I said that last year when I was promised money that never came. I said that recently when they stopped allowing us to see views and slashed the pay but refused to tell us what the rates were or even what paid and what didn't. I said it tonight. A short post inferring we are all scammers and they were taking away a bulk of our redemptions was not communication. It was put out there on New Year's Eve in the hopes that it would fly over most people's heads and no one would be too upset.
And it worked. I see people praising the site for its honesty. Honesty is not taking back money that one earned. This was AFTER the pay cuts so they must have slashed the pay again by a lot. I would have stayed for a few pennies a day. But I no longer trust the people running the site and when trust is gone, I can walk away without looking back.
I wish there was a way around it but I need to move on and I hope that many of the people there will come here either instead of being there or along with being there.
If not, there are lots of great people here who I already enjoy very much and I will just make new friends again. I just can't roll over and take their BS anymore.
Starting 2015 with a clean slate will do me good. I need a change. I need a break. And I need to move away from a site that caused me stress.
I think there will be others who feel the same way who will be coming over. I look forward to seeing them.
Image is from Pixabay.com
Image Credit » Image from Pixabay.com